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Useless Knowledge:
Banging your head against a wall can burn up to
150 calories per hour.
Banging your head against a wall can burn up to
150 calories per hour.
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I got a new job, but it's not going well.
I surveyed 100 women and asked which shampoo
they preferred.
Anyone know where to buy "How the hell did you
get in here"?
I surveyed 100 women and asked which shampoo
they preferred.
Anyone know where to buy "How the hell did you
get in here"?
••
Flex decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a
hundred chickens to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another
hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.
A month later he was back at the dealer for another
hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.
“But I think I know where I’m going wrong,” said
Flex, “I think I’m planting them too deep.”
hundred chickens to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another
hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.
A month later he was back at the dealer for another
hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.
“But I think I know where I’m going wrong,” said
Flex, “I think I’m planting them too deep.”
••
No parent in their right mind would give a
6-year-old a drum set, therefore Santa exists!!
6-year-old a drum set, therefore Santa exists!!
••
Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday,
our friend received a jury-duty notice.
She called the clerk’s office to remind them that she
was exempt because of her age.
"You need to come in and fill out the exemption
forms," the clerk said.
"But I filled them out last year," she replied.
"You have to fill them out every year."
"Why? Do you think I’m getting younger?"
Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday,
our friend received a jury-duty notice.
She called the clerk’s office to remind them that she
was exempt because of her age.
"You need to come in and fill out the exemption
forms," the clerk said.
"But I filled them out last year," she replied.
"You have to fill them out every year."
"Why? Do you think I’m getting younger?"
••
One of the most striking differences between a cat
and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
When you die at 72, no matter what you die of,
its natural causes.
Even if you get hit by a truck, its natural causes.
Cause if you was younger, you'd got out of the way.
its natural causes.
Even if you get hit by a truck, its natural causes.
Cause if you was younger, you'd got out of the way.
••
As the dog sat watching the orchestra, he stared at
the conductor and thought... "Just throw the damn
thing."
the conductor and thought... "Just throw the damn
thing."
••
fantasy roleplay...
last week I indulged my wife's sexual fantasy.....
She dressed up as a cheerleader, and I played a guy
who was interested in what she had to say...
last week I indulged my wife's sexual fantasy.....
She dressed up as a cheerleader, and I played a guy
who was interested in what she had to say...
••
My memory is going....
Somebody was telling me earlier about the Mayan
Calendar and an event predicted to happen on the
21st of December 2012, but I can't remember what
it was.
Oh well, it's not the end of the world.
••
Somebody was telling me earlier about the Mayan
Calendar and an event predicted to happen on the
21st of December 2012, but I can't remember what
it was.
Oh well, it's not the end of the world.
••
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