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♥
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger
women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
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Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the
elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
☺☺
Most Americans think Santa is a Democrat...
According 2 a new poll, most Americans think Santa
is a Democrat.
Which is odd, because when I think of a fat old white
man who hires unskilled labor, I think Republican :)
According 2 a new poll, most Americans think Santa
is a Democrat.
Which is odd, because when I think of a fat old white
man who hires unskilled labor, I think Republican :)
☺☺
My wife was screaming at me........
"Leave! Get out of this house!"
As I was walking out the door she yelled,
"I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
So I turned around and replied "So now
you want me to stay?"
"Leave! Get out of this house!"
As I was walking out the door she yelled,
"I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
So I turned around and replied "So now
you want me to stay?"
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!
Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!
☺☺
A young woman was walking in the park one day
when she came across a frog.
She picked it up and decided to take it home with her.
Later that night, she kissed it, and put it under her
pillow and the next morning when she awoke,
the frog was gone and there was a handsome young
man sleeping beside her!
She could not believe it!
Given the screaming and yelling a bit later,
apparently neither did her mother and father!
when she came across a frog.
She picked it up and decided to take it home with her.
Later that night, she kissed it, and put it under her
pillow and the next morning when she awoke,
the frog was gone and there was a handsome young
man sleeping beside her!
She could not believe it!
Given the screaming and yelling a bit later,
apparently neither did her mother and father!
☺☺
The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals
- a carpenter, an electrician and a dentist were
deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their
wedding night.
The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed
would give them a chuckle or two.
The electrician decided to wire the bed -
with alternating current, of course.
The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly
grin and promised it would be memorable.
The nuptials went as planned and a few days later,
each of the grooms buddies received the following
note:
"Dear Friends, we didn't mind the bed slats being
sawed.
The electric shock was only a minor setback.
But I swear by God Almighty, I'm going to kill
whoever put local anesthesia in the condom!"
- a carpenter, an electrician and a dentist were
deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their
wedding night.
The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed
would give them a chuckle or two.
The electrician decided to wire the bed -
with alternating current, of course.
The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly
grin and promised it would be memorable.
The nuptials went as planned and a few days later,
each of the grooms buddies received the following
note:
"Dear Friends, we didn't mind the bed slats being
sawed.
The electric shock was only a minor setback.
But I swear by God Almighty, I'm going to kill
whoever put local anesthesia in the condom!"
☺☺
Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet
parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
☺☺
As the storm raged, the captain realized his
ship was sinking fast.
He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I
know how to pray."
"Good," said the captain, "you pray while
the rest of us put on our life jackets -
we're one short."
ship was sinking fast.
He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I
know how to pray."
"Good," said the captain, "you pray while
the rest of us put on our life jackets -
we're one short."
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