Like my mixer ?
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♥
Useless Knowledge;
Sharks can be dangerous even before they are born.
One scientist was bitten by a sand tiger shark
embryo while he was examining its pregnant mother.
Sharks can be dangerous even before they are born.
One scientist was bitten by a sand tiger shark
embryo while he was examining its pregnant mother.
••
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UVA
freshman, sat in her USA government class.
The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question then finally said,
"That was the decision George Washington had
to make before he crossed the Delaware"
freshman, sat in her USA government class.
The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question then finally said,
"That was the decision George Washington had
to make before he crossed the Delaware"
••
The worse..... your line is tangled,
the better is the fishing around you.
the better is the fishing around you.
••
Men......
Did you know flowers can help you live longer?
Just give a bunch to your wife when she wants to
kill you.
Did you know flowers can help you live longer?
Just give a bunch to your wife when she wants to
kill you.
••
Let us so live that when we come to die even the
undertaker will be sorry. ~ Mark Twain
undertaker will be sorry. ~ Mark Twain
••
Should members of these actual clubs be considered
slightly deranged: Committee for Immediate Nuclear
War, the National Society for Prevention of Cruelty to
Mushrooms, the Order of Manly Men, and our
favorite, the Institute of Totally Useless Skills?
slightly deranged: Committee for Immediate Nuclear
War, the National Society for Prevention of Cruelty to
Mushrooms, the Order of Manly Men, and our
favorite, the Institute of Totally Useless Skills?
••
A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.
"Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we
want her, we just go get her.
Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her
back to the airport."
"Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we
want her, we just go get her.
Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her
back to the airport."
••
If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred,
you'll never end up with a nag.
Zig Ziglar
you'll never end up with a nag.
Zig Ziglar
••
My husband retired, and for the first time in over
40 years...
I had to think about preparing midday meals.
Tired of it after several months, I said, "I married
you for better or worse, but not for lunch."
"Fair enough.....
From now on I'll make my own," he replied.
A few weeks later he had to go downtown on
business and invited me to join him afterwards.
"We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both
like," he suggested.
I happily agreed.
At the restaurant the next day we were seated,
and the waiter came to take our order.
My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and
said, "Separate checks, please..."
40 years...
I had to think about preparing midday meals.
Tired of it after several months, I said, "I married
you for better or worse, but not for lunch."
"Fair enough.....
From now on I'll make my own," he replied.
A few weeks later he had to go downtown on
business and invited me to join him afterwards.
"We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both
like," he suggested.
I happily agreed.
At the restaurant the next day we were seated,
and the waiter came to take our order.
My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and
said, "Separate checks, please..."
••
There are three ways to get things done:
do it yourself, hire someone to do it,
or forbid your kids to do it.
do it yourself, hire someone to do it,
or forbid your kids to do it.
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