☺☺
♥
I knocked on the couple-next-door's front entry last
night.
"Sorry John," I said, "I know you've only just got
home from work but I need your help.
I can't get into my house.
I was in a rush and my front door key is in my
trousers, which I've left beside the bed."
"Okay, so what do you want me to do then?" he asked.
I said, "Go upstairs to your bedroom and get them
for me...."
night.
"Sorry John," I said, "I know you've only just got
home from work but I need your help.
I can't get into my house.
I was in a rush and my front door key is in my
trousers, which I've left beside the bed."
"Okay, so what do you want me to do then?" he asked.
I said, "Go upstairs to your bedroom and get them
for me...."
☺☺
How Dumb was he....
He was so dumb he put birdseed in his shoes to
feed his pigeon toes.
He was so dumb he put birdseed in his shoes to
feed his pigeon toes.
☺☺
Guy goes to the doctor and says he has flying crabs.
He drops his pants and dozens of little black flies
swarm out.
Doc says those are not flying crabs, they're fruit flies.
You've got a dead banana!
He drops his pants and dozens of little black flies
swarm out.
Doc says those are not flying crabs, they're fruit flies.
You've got a dead banana!
☺☺
A tourist asks a man in uniform,
"Are you a policeman?"
"No, I am an undercover detective."
"So why are you in uniform?"
"Today is my day off."
"Are you a policeman?"
"No, I am an undercover detective."
"So why are you in uniform?"
"Today is my day off."
☺☺
Grandparents are funny, when they bend over,
you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.
you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.
••
90-year-old man goes to the doctor and says,
"Doc, you gotta help me.
I need you to lower my sex drive."
Doc says, "Lower it?!
You're the first 90-year-old man I've known who
even has one.
How much lower do you want it?"
Guy says, "Well, maybe about 2 feet- right now it's
all in my head."
"Doc, you gotta help me.
I need you to lower my sex drive."
Doc says, "Lower it?!
You're the first 90-year-old man I've known who
even has one.
How much lower do you want it?"
Guy says, "Well, maybe about 2 feet- right now it's
all in my head."
☺☺
A termite walks into a bar and asks......
"is the bartender here?"
"is the bartender here?"
☺☺
It’s my wife’s 30th birthday tomorrow.
Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
“Oh, I don’t know, she said.
Just give me something with diamonds.”
That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.
Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
“Oh, I don’t know, she said.
Just give me something with diamonds.”
That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.
☺☺
Dad buys a LIE DETECTOR ROBOT which slaps
people when they lie.
He decides to test it at dinner.
”Son, where were you today?”
The son says “at school dad.”
Robot slaps the son!
“OK, I watched a DVD at my friends house!”
“What DVD?” “Toy story.”
Robot slaps the son again!
“OK, it was porn”.
Dad yells.. “What! When I was your age I didn’t
know what porn was!”
Robot then slaps the dad!
Mom laughs... “HAHAHA!
He’s certainly YOUR son.”
Robot then slaps the mom….
people when they lie.
He decides to test it at dinner.
”Son, where were you today?”
The son says “at school dad.”
Robot slaps the son!
“OK, I watched a DVD at my friends house!”
“What DVD?” “Toy story.”
Robot slaps the son again!
“OK, it was porn”.
Dad yells.. “What! When I was your age I didn’t
know what porn was!”
Robot then slaps the dad!
Mom laughs... “HAHAHA!
He’s certainly YOUR son.”
Robot then slaps the mom….
☺☺
