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History is a set of lies agreed upon. ~Napoleon
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Biblical Theme Songs.....
Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"
Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise"
Lazarus: "The Second Time Around"
Esther: "I Feel Pretty"
Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues"
Moses: "The Wanderer"
Jezebel: "The Lady is a Tramp"
Samson: "Hair"Salome: "I Could Have Danced All
Night"
Daniel: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
Esau: "Born To Be Wild"
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego:
"Great Balls of Fire!"
The Three Kings: "When You Wish Upon a Star"
Jonah: "Got a Whale of a Tale"
Elijah: "Up, Up, and Away"
Methuselah: "Stayin' Alive"
Nebuchadnezzar: "Crazy".
Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"
Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise"
Lazarus: "The Second Time Around"
Esther: "I Feel Pretty"
Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues"
Moses: "The Wanderer"
Jezebel: "The Lady is a Tramp"
Samson: "Hair"Salome: "I Could Have Danced All
Night"
Daniel: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
Esau: "Born To Be Wild"
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego:
"Great Balls of Fire!"
The Three Kings: "When You Wish Upon a Star"
Jonah: "Got a Whale of a Tale"
Elijah: "Up, Up, and Away"
Methuselah: "Stayin' Alive"
Nebuchadnezzar: "Crazy".
••
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can
actually alter your DNA.
Decades from now your descendants will
occasionally clutch their heads and yell.....
"What The Hell was That?"
actually alter your DNA.
Decades from now your descendants will
occasionally clutch their heads and yell.....
"What The Hell was That?"
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A 99-year-old man is filing for divorce from his
96-year- old wife, making them the world's oldest
divorced couple.
It's got to be weird when a divorce lawyer is fighting
for your kids to get custody of you.
96-year- old wife, making them the world's oldest
divorced couple.
It's got to be weird when a divorce lawyer is fighting
for your kids to get custody of you.
••
Three men walked in to a bar.
You think one of them would have seen it!
You think one of them would have seen it!
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When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights,
Eve became upset.
"You're running around with other women," she
charged.
"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded.....
"You're the only woman on earth."
The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only
to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest.
It was Eve.
"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.
Eve said "Counting your ribs!"
Eve became upset.
"You're running around with other women," she
charged.
"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded.....
"You're the only woman on earth."
The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only
to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest.
It was Eve.
"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.
Eve said "Counting your ribs!"
••
An elderly gentleman was pulled over on the freeway.
The officer walked up to the man’s car and asked,
“Sir, do you know why I stopped you?”
“No, officer, I don’t,” answered the old man.
“Are you not aware that you left your wife back at
the last rest stop?”
The officer walked up to the man’s car and asked,
“Sir, do you know why I stopped you?”
“No, officer, I don’t,” answered the old man.
“Are you not aware that you left your wife back at
the last rest stop?”
The old man replied, “Thank God, I thought I’d
gone deaf!”
gone deaf!”
••
When you die at 75, no matter what you die of,
its natural causes.
Even if you get hit by a truck, its natural causes.
Cause if you was younger, you'd got out of the way.
its natural causes.
Even if you get hit by a truck, its natural causes.
Cause if you was younger, you'd got out of the way.
••
"Wait!" She protested, "I'm not that kind of a girl......
yet!"
yet!"
••
One of the most striking differences between a cat
and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
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