#1833

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I'm easy to get along with Once you see things
my way..

 

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One of the most striking differences between a cat
and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

 

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A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen
display counter and pointed to a tray.
"I'll have a pound of that salmon," he said.
"That's not salmon," the clerk said. "It's ham."
"Mister," the customer snapped, "in case nobody
ever told you, you got a big mouth!"

 

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I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small
garden.
It didn't have much of a plot.

 

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When you die at 72, no matter what you die of,
its natural causes.
Even if you get hit by a truck, its natural causes.
Cause if you was younger, you'd got out of the way.

 

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As the dog sat watching the orchestra, he stared at
the conductor and thought... "Just throw the damn
thing."

 

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fantasy roleplay...
last week I indulged my wife's sexual fantasy.....
She dressed up as a cheerleader, and I played a guy
who was interested in what she had to say

 

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You're mama is so fat when she takes off
her girdle her legs disappear.

 

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Useless Knowledge:
Banging your head against a wall can burn up to
150 calories per hour.

 

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I got a new job, but it's not going well.
I surveyed 100 women and asked which shampoo
they preferred.
Anyone know where to buy "How the hell did you
get in here"?

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