☺☺
♥
She is so blonde, when she missed the 44 bus,
she took the 22 bus twice.
she took the 22 bus twice.
☺☺
A blond lady went to see a Doctor, complaining of
an upset stomach.
The Doctor asked "What did you have for dinner last
night?"
"Oysters," she replied.
"Were the oysters fresh?" asked the doctor.
"How should I know?" said the lady.
"Well," asked the doctor, "couldn't you tell when you
took off the shells?"
"Oh my god," gasped the lady. "Are you supposed to
take off the shells?"
an upset stomach.
The Doctor asked "What did you have for dinner last
night?"
"Oysters," she replied.
"Were the oysters fresh?" asked the doctor.
"How should I know?" said the lady.
"Well," asked the doctor, "couldn't you tell when you
took off the shells?"
"Oh my god," gasped the lady. "Are you supposed to
take off the shells?"
☺☺
A cop stopped me for speeding.
He said, "Why were you going so fast?" I said,
"See this thing my foot is on?
It's called an accelerator.
When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the
engine.
The whole car just takes right off.
And see this thing? This steers it."
He said, "Why were you going so fast?" I said,
"See this thing my foot is on?
It's called an accelerator.
When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the
engine.
The whole car just takes right off.
And see this thing? This steers it."
☺☺
I was in the lead in a trivia competition until the last
question.
The question was "Where do women have the curliest
hair?"
The correct answer was Fiji.
Who would have thought they were looking for the
name of a country.
question.
The question was "Where do women have the curliest
hair?"
The correct answer was Fiji.
Who would have thought they were looking for the
name of a country.
☺☺
Having had one too many, a bar drinker was
beginning to display an ugly side.
An unescorted female sat down beside him and he
whispered to her, "Hey! How about it babe?
You and me?"
As she got up to move, he said loudly, "Honey, you
sure look like you could use the money, but I don't
have an extra two dollars."
She looked back and replied just as loudly,
"What makes you think I charge by the inch?"
beginning to display an ugly side.
An unescorted female sat down beside him and he
whispered to her, "Hey! How about it babe?
You and me?"
As she got up to move, he said loudly, "Honey, you
sure look like you could use the money, but I don't
have an extra two dollars."
She looked back and replied just as loudly,
"What makes you think I charge by the inch?"
☺☺
I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a
cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55
miles per hour?"
"Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long..."
cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55
miles per hour?"
"Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long..."
☺☺
Three children were talking about their religions.
"I'm a Catholic," said one, "And our symbol is the
cross."
"I'm Jewish," said the second, "And our symbol is
the Star of David."
The third child said, "I'm a Unitarian Universalist
and our symbol is a candle in a cocktail glass!"
"I'm a Catholic," said one, "And our symbol is the
cross."
"I'm Jewish," said the second, "And our symbol is
the Star of David."
The third child said, "I'm a Unitarian Universalist
and our symbol is a candle in a cocktail glass!"
☺☺
I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles".
That's pretty big..... Some people must be really tired.
That's pretty big..... Some people must be really tired.
☺☺
"Don't open that wardrobe!" shouted the wife as I
was just about to, "Your Christmas present is in
there!"
"Too late," I said, pulling open the door.
"You get me the shittiest presents!" I said, looking in.
"Why the hell would I want a half naked milkman?"
was just about to, "Your Christmas present is in
there!"
"Too late," I said, pulling open the door.
"You get me the shittiest presents!" I said, looking in.
"Why the hell would I want a half naked milkman?"
☺☺
☺
