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A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to
Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission.
During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked
for questions.
Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked,
"If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we
do?"
"Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet
in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission.
During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked
for questions.
Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked,
"If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we
do?"
"Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet
in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
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Useless Knowledge..
A pride of lions
A plague of locusts
A tiding of magpies
A stud of mares
A labour of moles
A barren or span of mules
A parliament of owls
A company of parrots
Useless Knowledge..
A pride of lions
A plague of locusts
A tiding of magpies
A stud of mares
A labour of moles
A barren or span of mules
A parliament of owls
A company of parrots
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A large defense contractor finally succeeded in
building a computer able to solve any strategic or
tactical problem.
Military leaders assembled in front of the new
machine and were instructed to feed a difficult
tactical problem into it.
They described a hypothetical situation to the
computer and then asked the pivotal question,
"Attack or retreat?"
The computer hummed away for an hour and then
came up with the answer, "Yes."
The generals looked at each other, stupefied.
Finally one of them submitted a second request to
the computer, "Yes what?"
Instantly the computer responded, "Yes, Sir!."
building a computer able to solve any strategic or
tactical problem.
Military leaders assembled in front of the new
machine and were instructed to feed a difficult
tactical problem into it.
They described a hypothetical situation to the
computer and then asked the pivotal question,
"Attack or retreat?"
The computer hummed away for an hour and then
came up with the answer, "Yes."
The generals looked at each other, stupefied.
Finally one of them submitted a second request to
the computer, "Yes what?"
Instantly the computer responded, "Yes, Sir!."
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The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf -
it's almost a law.
it's almost a law.
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My dad discovered the Internet.
Uh, just because someone raised you, does not mean
that you have to add them on Facebook.
My dad discovered the Internet.
Uh, just because someone raised you, does not mean
that you have to add them on Facebook.
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Miss Paddington is in Paris and is visting "Louvre"
the famous french museum.
She looks at the paintings and suddenly she says,
"Is this a dreadful painting or what!
I can't belive that a respectable place like this could
have such a horrible piece
of art in its collection."
"Pardon, Madame!" one of the staff says,
"But it's not a painting, it's a mirror."
the famous french museum.
She looks at the paintings and suddenly she says,
"Is this a dreadful painting or what!
I can't belive that a respectable place like this could
have such a horrible piece
of art in its collection."
"Pardon, Madame!" one of the staff says,
"But it's not a painting, it's a mirror."
••
"Go and have a look at the size of the chit I've just
done in the bathroom!" I said to my wife.
"No thanks," she replied.
"Please, just one quick look," I said,
"You won't believe it."
She pinched her nose, ran in, looked down the toilet,
then ran out and said, "There's nothing down there,
you must've flushed it."
I said, "It's on the scales."
"Go and have a look at the size of the chit I've just
done in the bathroom!" I said to my wife.
"No thanks," she replied.
"Please, just one quick look," I said,
"You won't believe it."
She pinched her nose, ran in, looked down the toilet,
then ran out and said, "There's nothing down there,
you must've flushed it."
I said, "It's on the scales."
••
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon
burn out.
burn out.
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