••
♥
This morning after I got into the shower,
I found there was no shampoo.
I reached out of the shower and found a new bottle
on the counter.
It worked well, but I didn't realize until later when
I put my glasses back on that it was dog shampoo.
The day went as usual, until this afternoon.
On my way home, I saw a German Shepard that
kinda turned me on, and all evening I've been
dragging my butt on the carpets!
I found there was no shampoo.
I reached out of the shower and found a new bottle
on the counter.
It worked well, but I didn't realize until later when
I put my glasses back on that it was dog shampoo.
The day went as usual, until this afternoon.
On my way home, I saw a German Shepard that
kinda turned me on, and all evening I've been
dragging my butt on the carpets!
••
Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business,"
always be followed by the word "but"?
always be followed by the word "but"?
••
The worst jobs....
1. Photographer for the "Miss Nude Octogenarian"
pageant..
2. Laxative tester.
3. Internet spelling/grammar corrector..
4. Certified Pubic Accountant..
5. Depends Undergarment Maximum Load Tester..
6. Jessie Ventura's press secretary..
7. Restroom attendant at the Texas Chili Competition..
1. Photographer for the "Miss Nude Octogenarian"
pageant..
2. Laxative tester.
3. Internet spelling/grammar corrector..
4. Certified Pubic Accountant..
5. Depends Undergarment Maximum Load Tester..
6. Jessie Ventura's press secretary..
7. Restroom attendant at the Texas Chili Competition..
••
When asked whether or not I was bilingual,
I was about to say I knew sign language,
but I figured it was sort of a mute point.
When asked whether or not I was bilingual,
I was about to say I knew sign language,
but I figured it was sort of a mute point.
••
A man tells his wife of 15 years that it feels like
they've only been married for 15 minutes.
The wife says thats so sweet and he says yeah 15
minutes under water!
they've only been married for 15 minutes.
The wife says thats so sweet and he says yeah 15
minutes under water!
••
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.
A stick.
••
There is, I am reliably informed, a certain potion that
can be taken orally, that helps you forget your
troubles.
It is offered in various categories of potency and can
be purchased 'over the counter'.
How much is consumed and the time period lapsed
from memory, depends upon your constitution.
There can be side effects, usually felt next day, and
sometimes, even that same evening!
This potion's effectiveness may be acceptable for the
consumer, however, the people around you are not
affected and as such, will remember quite well and
often vividly, what you are trying to forget!
This potion is often produced under several different
labels, though I think that the most common one is
'alcohol'.
can be taken orally, that helps you forget your
troubles.
It is offered in various categories of potency and can
be purchased 'over the counter'.
How much is consumed and the time period lapsed
from memory, depends upon your constitution.
There can be side effects, usually felt next day, and
sometimes, even that same evening!
This potion's effectiveness may be acceptable for the
consumer, however, the people around you are not
affected and as such, will remember quite well and
often vividly, what you are trying to forget!
This potion is often produced under several different
labels, though I think that the most common one is
'alcohol'.
••
Strange new trend at the office: putting names on
food in the lunchroom fridge.
Today I had a roast beef sandwich named Kevin.
food in the lunchroom fridge.
Today I had a roast beef sandwich named Kevin.
••
My dad worked on the road for twenty years before
he got fired for stealing!
At first I didn't believe it... but when I got home all
the signs were there.
••
My dad worked on the road for twenty years before
he got fired for stealing!
At first I didn't believe it... but when I got home all
the signs were there.
••
