Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl online.
She's funny, flirty and sexy.
Now she tells me shes an undercover cop...
How cool is that for someone her age?

 

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How many psychiatrists does it take to change a
light bulb?
Just one... but the light bulb has to 'want' to change.

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This week the U.S. unveiled a larger, more
convenient checkpoint at the border with Mexico.
And then Mexicans unveiled a larger, more
convenient tunnel around it.

 

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The birth rate in the United States has hit an all-time
low.
But to be fair, basketball season has just started.
It’s going to take a while for these guys to get out
there and go to different towns.
Just be patient.

 

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The latest James Bond movie, "Skyfall," is really
good but there's a bit of a controversy now because
of product placement.
Like instead of his signature martini, Bond now
drinks Heineken.
That's not the only example — 007 is now 007-11.
And you know Miss Moneypenny?
She's now Miss JCPenny.

 

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I walked into the pet shop this morning and said to
the cashier, "I need to replace my daughters kitten
with one that looks exactly the same.
I just accidentally backed over it with my car and
his eyes popped out of his head."
 "Spare me the details," she gagged,
"Do you have a photo?"
"Yes," I replied, showing her.
She said, "That's disgusting, I meant before the
accident!"

 

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