••
♥
A class professor was giving a lecture on company
slogans and was asking his students if they were
familiar with them.
"Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan,
'come fly the friendly skies'?"
Joe answered the correct airline.
"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the
slogan, "Don't leave home without it?"
Brenda answered the correct credit card company
with no difficulty.
"Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan,
'Just do it'?"
And John answered, "Mom...."
slogans and was asking his students if they were
familiar with them.
"Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan,
'come fly the friendly skies'?"
Joe answered the correct airline.
"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the
slogan, "Don't leave home without it?"
Brenda answered the correct credit card company
with no difficulty.
"Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan,
'Just do it'?"
And John answered, "Mom...."
••
I made the mistake of moving in with a hippie.
Hippie roommate -- horrible mistake.
Apparently, when they say peace and love,
what they really mean is filthy and annoying.
Hippie roommate -- horrible mistake.
Apparently, when they say peace and love,
what they really mean is filthy and annoying.
••
Life is a little easier for attractive people.
Think about it: if a stranger smiles at you and they're
attractive, you think, Oh, theyre nice,
but if a strangers ugly, you're like,
What do they want?
Get away from me, weirdo.
Think about it: if a stranger smiles at you and they're
attractive, you think, Oh, theyre nice,
but if a strangers ugly, you're like,
What do they want?
Get away from me, weirdo.
••
An elderly man was stopped by the police around
2 a.m and was asked where he was going at that time
of night.
The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about
alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human
body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer then asked, "Really?
Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replied, "That would be my wife."
2 a.m and was asked where he was going at that time
of night.
The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about
alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human
body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer then asked, "Really?
Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replied, "That would be my wife."
••
Flex the serial flasher was thinking of retiring,
but he's decided he's gonna stick it out for another
year!
but he's decided he's gonna stick it out for another
year!
••
I recently heard about an old friend, a farmer.
He had a brilliant idea of breeding sheep twice the
size of normal ones.
He re-mortgaged his house to finance it.
Things didn't go to plan.
Although the sheep were larger, they weren't as big
as he'd hoped.
He couldn't afford the repayments and the bank
repossessed his house and land, leaving him with
just his sheep and penniless.
He was last seen on a street corner selling biggish
ewes.
He had a brilliant idea of breeding sheep twice the
size of normal ones.
He re-mortgaged his house to finance it.
Things didn't go to plan.
Although the sheep were larger, they weren't as big
as he'd hoped.
He couldn't afford the repayments and the bank
repossessed his house and land, leaving him with
just his sheep and penniless.
He was last seen on a street corner selling biggish
ewes.
••
One day a cobra bit Chuck Norris leg after 5 days of
excruciating pain the cobra finally died.
excruciating pain the cobra finally died.
••
My girlfriend says the new breast implants make her
feel uncomfortable.
feel uncomfortable.
But I think I look sexy.
