Down Hummingbird Lane

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My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

 

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Two old dudes are sunning themselves in their
rockers on the front porch of the rest home.
One of them says, "You know, I think it's time,
Dude..."
 "Time for what?" interrupts the other.
"Time for us to start calling each other by our real
names instead of "Dude" all the time."
 The other guy agrees.
They sit quietly for several minutes, obviously deep
in thought.
 The first guy says, "Got anything yet?"
The other guy says, " I think one of us is named Gus...."

 

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Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

 

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It's scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker.

 

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SIGNS YOU ARE OVERDOING THANKSGIVING..
* Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out
of the LAZ-Boy!
* The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real
12' boat!
* You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your
e-mail
* Friday you set off 3 earthquake seismographs on
your morning jog.
* Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only
yielded gravy.
* That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering
wheel burn.
* Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame
called twice.

 

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The trouble with unemployment is that the minute
you wake up in the morning you’re on the job...

 

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When a newly married man looks happy, we know
why.
But, when a 10-year married man looks happy,
we wonder why.....

 

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One good thing about Alzheimers,
you get to meet new people everyday.

 

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Yesterday Barack Obama looked especially good.
He looked relaxed and ready to lead, so he took
questions from the press for 20 minutes then
finished up with a few Al Green songs.

 

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