Down Hummingbird Lane

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The fire dept has told us to stop letting the monkeys
cook their own food at the zoo.
After three chimp pan fires in one week.

 

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Reggie: We have got a new dog.
Would you like to come around and play with him?
Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?
Reggie: That's what I want to find out.

 

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A husband was abducted by aliens one day, and the
alien said: "Take me to your leader" and the husband
said: "Sorry my wife isn't home."

 

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Just had some strobe lights fitted in the bedroom.
The sex is the same, but the wife looks like she's
moving now!

 

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 Mike bought a piano for Jane on her birthday.
After a few days, Mike's friend inquired with him
how Jane was doing with the piano.
"Well," said Mike, "I persuaded her to switch to a
clarinet."
"Why is that?" asked the friend.
Mike answered, "that's because with a clarinet, she
cannot sing."

 

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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure
that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange
men whose only objective is to make a hole in one
with you...

 

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I always have trouble remembering three things:
faces, names, and—I can’t remember what the third
thing is.

 

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If you want someone to listen to you,
start the conversation with "I shouldn't be telling you
this..."

 

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