# 1815

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A regular commuter who always gave change to a
beggar sitting on the corner of a street, noticed one
day that the beggar was sitting with two begging
bowls set apart instead of the usual one.
Upon asking the beggar said: “Now a days the
business is good.
So I have opened a branch office to expand my
business."

 

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At his first press conference as president-elect,
Barack Obama said America will succeed if we can
put aside partisanship and politics.
In other words, we're totally screwed.

 

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Taz, the blonde was checking in at the airport and
she asked for an aisle seat on the airplane.
The reason she gave was that she didn't want to mess
up her hair by sitting near the window.

 

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Lotta self-help tapes out there.
Got one called 'How to Handle Disappointment.'
I got it home and the box was empty.

 

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Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a snail
Don't worry we'll soon have you out of your shell!

 

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Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, ‘I was artificially inseminated
this morning.’
‘I don’t believe you,’ says Dolly.
‘It’s true; no bull!’ exclaims Daisy...

 

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I am so old that . . . whenever I eat out,
they ask me for the money up front.

 

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One reason the Military Services have trouble
operating jointly is that they don't speak the same
language.
For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a
building," they would turn off the lights and lock the
doors.
The Army would occupy the building so no one
could enter.
Marines would assault the building, capture it, and
defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.
The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a
three-year lease with an option to buy.

 

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Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple.
We must get to the core of this!

 

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