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A young man visited his sister who was married to a
farmer in a poor district of the country.
Since there were limited accommodations, he was
required to sleep with his young nephew.
When the young man came into the bedroom, he saw
the little boy kneeling at the side of the bed with his
head bowed.
Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing,
he decided to present a good example and knelled at
the other side of the bed with his head bowed.
The child looked up and said, "Whatcha doin'?"
"Why, the same thing you're doing", replied the uncle.
"Ma's gonna be mad", said the boy.
"The bedpan's on this side".
farmer in a poor district of the country.
Since there were limited accommodations, he was
required to sleep with his young nephew.
When the young man came into the bedroom, he saw
the little boy kneeling at the side of the bed with his
head bowed.
Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing,
he decided to present a good example and knelled at
the other side of the bed with his head bowed.
The child looked up and said, "Whatcha doin'?"
"Why, the same thing you're doing", replied the uncle.
"Ma's gonna be mad", said the boy.
"The bedpan's on this side".
••
During a conversation between a father and son about
changes the boy would experience as he grew up,
the man mentioned that his son's voice would change
as he got older.
The boy looked delighted and happily exclaimed,
"That's cool!..... I hope I get a British accent!"
changes the boy would experience as he grew up,
the man mentioned that his son's voice would change
as he got older.
The boy looked delighted and happily exclaimed,
"That's cool!..... I hope I get a British accent!"
••
I used to play doctor with this little girl in my
neighborhood all the time.
One time we got caught.
Luckily, it was a Wednesday and we were just playing
golf.
neighborhood all the time.
One time we got caught.
Luckily, it was a Wednesday and we were just playing
golf.
••
Better way to answer your phone;
I usually say "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em,
you stab em we slab em!"
or I answer "Catholic Youth outreach program,
Father Geoghan speaking..."
They hang up super quick.
I usually say "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em,
you stab em we slab em!"
or I answer "Catholic Youth outreach program,
Father Geoghan speaking..."
They hang up super quick.
••
I still have my old cell phone.
Now, many of my friends have "SmartPhones".
I'm not into buying extra gadgets for no good reason.
(esp if it costs money)
So, all I have is a plain $15 per month LG cell phone...
I call it my "DumbPhone".
I tell everyone "LG" stands for "Lazy Guy".
Now, many of my friends have "SmartPhones".
I'm not into buying extra gadgets for no good reason.
(esp if it costs money)
So, all I have is a plain $15 per month LG cell phone...
I call it my "DumbPhone".
I tell everyone "LG" stands for "Lazy Guy".
••
Q. Why was the fly dancing on the jam jar?
A. Because on the lid it said, "Twist to open."
A. Because on the lid it said, "Twist to open."
••
An elderly male called 911 and reported, woman over
here doing some yard work in one of those thong
bikinis."
"Sir," said an exasperated dispatcher,
"911 is an emergency number.
What do you expect the police to do about a
woman in a thong bikini?"
"Nothing," the guy said, "But if she keeps bending
over the way she's been doing, I will be having a heart
attack within the next 10 minutes,
so I just wanted to alert you to sending an ambulance
for me."
here doing some yard work in one of those thong
bikinis."
"Sir," said an exasperated dispatcher,
"911 is an emergency number.
What do you expect the police to do about a
woman in a thong bikini?"
"Nothing," the guy said, "But if she keeps bending
over the way she's been doing, I will be having a heart
attack within the next 10 minutes,
so I just wanted to alert you to sending an ambulance
for me."
••
Martin had a drink too many at the pub and had also
run out of money.
But that did not stop him from ordering for more.
So he said to the bartender, "C'mon Dan, give me a
few more drinks.
I'll pay you next week, I promise."
"Look," said Dan the bartender pointing out the
window.
"Can you see that building across the road?"
"Yes, I do.
What about it?" said Martin.
"Well, that is the National Bank, and I had a deal with
them" said Dan.
"What kind of deal?" Martin blurted.
"The pact was that they'll not sell booze, and I will
not lend money." replied Dan....
run out of money.
But that did not stop him from ordering for more.
So he said to the bartender, "C'mon Dan, give me a
few more drinks.
I'll pay you next week, I promise."
"Look," said Dan the bartender pointing out the
window.
"Can you see that building across the road?"
"Yes, I do.
What about it?" said Martin.
"Well, that is the National Bank, and I had a deal with
them" said Dan.
"What kind of deal?" Martin blurted.
"The pact was that they'll not sell booze, and I will
not lend money." replied Dan....
••
