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♥
The little church in R-ville suddenly stopped buying
from its regular office supply dealer.
So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.
"I'll tell you why," shouted Deacon Brown.
"Our church ordered some pencils from you to be
used in the pews for visitors to register."
"Well, interrupted the dealer, "didn't you receive them
yet?"
"Oh, we received them all right," replied Deacon
Brown.
"However, you sent us some golf pencils...each
stamped with the words, `Play Golf Next Sunday.'
from its regular office supply dealer.
So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.
"I'll tell you why," shouted Deacon Brown.
"Our church ordered some pencils from you to be
used in the pews for visitors to register."
"Well, interrupted the dealer, "didn't you receive them
yet?"
"Oh, we received them all right," replied Deacon
Brown.
"However, you sent us some golf pencils...each
stamped with the words, `Play Golf Next Sunday.'
••
The wife and I were discussing all aspects of our
future.
"What will you do if I die before you do?", I asked my
wife.
After some thought, she said that she'd probably look
for a house sharing situation with three other single
or widowed women who might be a little younger
than her, since she is so active for
her age.
Then my wife asked me, "What will you do if I die
first?"
"Probably the same thing."
future.
"What will you do if I die before you do?", I asked my
wife.
After some thought, she said that she'd probably look
for a house sharing situation with three other single
or widowed women who might be a little younger
than her, since she is so active for
her age.
Then my wife asked me, "What will you do if I die
first?"
"Probably the same thing."
••
"How did the wedding go?" asked the minister's wife.
"Just fine until I got to the part where I asked the
bride if she would obey and she said, 'Do you think
I'm nuts?' and the groom said.......'I do,'
and then things really began to happen fast."
"Just fine until I got to the part where I asked the
bride if she would obey and she said, 'Do you think
I'm nuts?' and the groom said.......'I do,'
and then things really began to happen fast."
••
I have discovered you can now get Viagra tea bags.....
They don't improve your sex life........
but they stop your biscuits going soft!
They don't improve your sex life........
but they stop your biscuits going soft!
••
I was walking down the street yesterday, and I
thought I'd spotted a superhero when I saw a man
running down the street wearing a cape.
Turned out it was just someone who had'nt paid for
his haircut !!!
I was walking down the street yesterday, and I
thought I'd spotted a superhero when I saw a man
running down the street wearing a cape.
Turned out it was just someone who had'nt paid for
his haircut !!!
••
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at
a funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead,
I'm not dead...... Let me out!"
The priest smiles, leans forward sucking air through
his teeth and mutters......
"Too late pal the paper works already done".
a funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead,
I'm not dead...... Let me out!"
The priest smiles, leans forward sucking air through
his teeth and mutters......
"Too late pal the paper works already done".
••
The government have advised us to be careful that
we are not being sold fake tickets for the forthcoming
Olympics.
Just checked mine for the men's
wheelchair triple jump and they seem genuine enough.
The government have advised us to be careful that
we are not being sold fake tickets for the forthcoming
Olympics.
Just checked mine for the men's
wheelchair triple jump and they seem genuine enough.
••
Husband took his wife to a disco.
There was a guy on the dance floor giving it
large-break-dancing, moon-walking,backflips.
the works.
The wife turned to husband and said, "see that guy,
25 years ago he propsed to me and i turned him down"
Husband says : "looks like he's still celebrating!!!"
Husband took his wife to a disco.
There was a guy on the dance floor giving it
large-break-dancing, moon-walking,backflips.
the works.
The wife turned to husband and said, "see that guy,
25 years ago he propsed to me and i turned him down"
Husband says : "looks like he's still celebrating!!!"
••
Me and my wife went to see a marriage councillor...
"Can I ask, how is your sex life?" Asked the councillor
"That's the thing" I replied "We don't have a sex life.."
"Not with each other!" Replied my wife.....
"Can I ask, how is your sex life?" Asked the councillor
"That's the thing" I replied "We don't have a sex life.."
"Not with each other!" Replied my wife.....
••
