Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin
to pick up speed."

 

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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike,
and as he preached, he moved briskly about the
platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.
Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the
cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.
After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third
 pew leaned toward her mother and whispered,
"If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

 

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My wife asked me about the cut on my finger.
"Oh, that," I said. "I was cutting up some string using
the scissors."
She said, "That was clumsy, you're a idiot!"
I said, "Yeah.....
Anyway, are you looking forward to your sky dive
tomorrow?"

 

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FOUR GREAT RELIGIOUS TRUTHS:
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's Chosen
People.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader
of the Christian world.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor
store.....

 

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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in
me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
'I like your sense of humor!'

 

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A woman stepped on one of those penny scales that
tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin.
"Listen to this," she said to her husband, showing
him a small, white card.
"It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great
lover."
"Yeah," her husband nodded, "and it has your weight
wrong, too."

 

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Word of the Day......
Deja Moo
The feeling you have heard this bull before......

 

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I'm never again going to the gym with a hangover....
I don't know what was worse, throwing up on the
treadmill or jumping over it every 3 seconds for 20
minutes.

 

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