Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

 

Working on my car today.
Had to buy some metric vise grips to change the
piston return springs .
Changed the air in my tires and the blinker fluid too.
I forget how handy I am sometimes.

 

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My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners
for four.
Unless there are three other people.

 

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The weight of the world’s insect population exceeds
that of humankind by a factor of 12.

 

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All year I try to give candy to children and the
parents start yelling "don't take candy from strangers!"
Then Halloween comes around and you send the
brats to my front door.
Well I'm keeping my candy this time!

 

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Just bought a Ken doll.
I don't know what everyone's talking about, you
can't read books on this thing.

 

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Sa It seems that there are fringe benefits to being
President. 
After leaving the White House, Dwight Eisenhower
was asked if he noticed anything different about his
golf game. 
"Yes," he said, " a lot more people beat me now."
 

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From Rae;
Aussie blokes are so good to women!!!
My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant
last night.
"Did you smell that food, it smelt incredible?"
she said.
Being the nice fellow I am, I thought:
"Bugger it, I'll treat her!"
So we walked past it again.

 

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My wife was mad at me....
and started getting snarky.
I said, "you are cute when you're mad".
She said, "Well get ready then because I am about to
get damn gorgeous"!

 

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One guy asks the other, "Hey, have you ever gone to
bed with an ugly woman?"
The second guy says, "No, but I've woken up with
plenty."

 

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I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

 

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