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Useless knowledge
In the animal kingdom, the animals that fart the
most are the elephants.
In the animal kingdom, the animals that fart the
most are the elephants.
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“A four-year-old boy saw a picture of the president.
His parent said, ‘Do you know what that man does?’
The boy looked and said,
‘Yes: He approves this message.’
His parent said, ‘Do you know what that man does?’
The boy looked and said,
‘Yes: He approves this message.’
••
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball
into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly
ill-designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill
into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly
ill-designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill
••
Needing to escape her hectic office, my friend fled
to the mall, bought a candy bar, and then relaxed
on a bench next to a businessman.
Soon, she heard the sound of a crumpling wrapper
and realized that he was eating her candy bar.
When he went to work on an ice cream cone,
she leaned over and took a huge lick.
“There!” she declared.
She then stormed off to her car, reached into her
purse for her keys, and pulled out the candy bar she
thought he’d eaten.
to the mall, bought a candy bar, and then relaxed
on a bench next to a businessman.
Soon, she heard the sound of a crumpling wrapper
and realized that he was eating her candy bar.
When he went to work on an ice cream cone,
she leaned over and took a huge lick.
“There!” she declared.
She then stormed off to her car, reached into her
purse for her keys, and pulled out the candy bar she
thought he’d eaten.
••
Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket,
Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.
“Yes,” says Sally, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”
“But Larry’s still alive.”
“I know, but his hair is gone.”
Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.
“Yes,” says Sally, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”
“But Larry’s still alive.”
“I know, but his hair is gone.”
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I got in touch with my inner self today.
That's the last time I buy doller store toilet roll.
That's the last time I buy doller store toilet roll.
••
I have just watched the start of the 5,000 meters for
those with Tourettes syndrome, it was brillant the
starter strode up and shouted" ready, steady, now
feck off"......
those with Tourettes syndrome, it was brillant the
starter strode up and shouted" ready, steady, now
feck off"......
••
Flex was taking a walk in the country, in a field he
noticed something that intrigued him.
Why doesn't this cow have any horns? he thought to
himself
He asked the local farmer why..?
"Well sir, they can damage their horns so we usually
keep them trimmed down with a hacksaw.
You can also treat young calves so their horns never
grow, and some breeds don't have any horns at all,"
the farmer replied.
The farmer continued, "But this cow doesn't have
any horns because it's a horse!"
noticed something that intrigued him.
Why doesn't this cow have any horns? he thought to
himself
He asked the local farmer why..?
"Well sir, they can damage their horns so we usually
keep them trimmed down with a hacksaw.
You can also treat young calves so their horns never
grow, and some breeds don't have any horns at all,"
the farmer replied.
The farmer continued, "But this cow doesn't have
any horns because it's a horse!"
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