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♥
For some reason the Muslim community seems to
be getting upset about Apple's new wrestling game
app: iSlam.....
be getting upset about Apple's new wrestling game
app: iSlam.....
••
An elderly man goes into his doctors office for an
annual physical.
After a while, the doctor comes out and says,
"I'm sorry Bill, but we have discovered you have a
condition which only allows you another 6 weeks to
live."
"But Doctor," Bill replied, "I feel great.
I haven't felt better in years.
This just can't be true.
Isn't there anything I can do?"
After a moment the doctor said, "Well, you might
start going down the street to that new health spa
and take a mud bath every day."
Excitedly Bill asked, "And that will cure me?"
"No," replied the doctor, "but it will get you used
to the dirt."
annual physical.
After a while, the doctor comes out and says,
"I'm sorry Bill, but we have discovered you have a
condition which only allows you another 6 weeks to
live."
"But Doctor," Bill replied, "I feel great.
I haven't felt better in years.
This just can't be true.
Isn't there anything I can do?"
After a moment the doctor said, "Well, you might
start going down the street to that new health spa
and take a mud bath every day."
Excitedly Bill asked, "And that will cure me?"
"No," replied the doctor, "but it will get you used
to the dirt."
••
You know how to you make God laugh?
Tell him your plans...
Tell him your plans...
••
The autumn leaves are a lot like raising kids.
First they turn on you, and then they fly away.
And next thing you know, you look out the window
and they're back!
First they turn on you, and then they fly away.
And next thing you know, you look out the window
and they're back!
••
Theres no razor in candy.
If for no other reason, it doesnt make financial sense.
How much does a piece of candy cost -- like, a penny
and a half?
An apples like 15 cents?
Anybody here bought a Mach 3 replacement cartridge
recently?
They're so expensive, they don't even keep them on
the shelf.
You know, you have to ask the people behind the
counter.
I feel like I'm trying to buy enriched plutonium or
something.
Theres no razor in candy.
If for no other reason, it doesnt make financial sense.
How much does a piece of candy cost -- like, a penny
and a half?
An apples like 15 cents?
Anybody here bought a Mach 3 replacement cartridge
recently?
They're so expensive, they don't even keep them on
the shelf.
You know, you have to ask the people behind the
counter.
I feel like I'm trying to buy enriched plutonium or
something.
••
Did you know that the blondes recently built their
own submarine?
It's got wire mesh on the windows to keep out the
flies.
own submarine?
It's got wire mesh on the windows to keep out the
flies.
••
This is a warning.
Never force children to pray.
At dinner, a little boy was forced to lead the family
into prayer...
Little Boy : But i don't know how to pray
Dad: Just pray for your family members, friends and
neighbours, the poor,etc.....
Little Boy : "Dear Lord" he started "Thank u for our
visitors and their children, who finished all my
cookies and ice cream.
Bless them so they won't come again.
Forgive our neighbour's son, who removed my
sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed.
This coming Christmas, pliz send clothes to all those
poor without clothes ladies on my daddy's
blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men
who use mom's room when daddy is at work"...
Mom and Dad did not have dinner that evening....
Never force children to pray.
At dinner, a little boy was forced to lead the family
into prayer...
Little Boy : But i don't know how to pray
Dad: Just pray for your family members, friends and
neighbours, the poor,etc.....
Little Boy : "Dear Lord" he started "Thank u for our
visitors and their children, who finished all my
cookies and ice cream.
Bless them so they won't come again.
Forgive our neighbour's son, who removed my
sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed.
This coming Christmas, pliz send clothes to all those
poor without clothes ladies on my daddy's
blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men
who use mom's room when daddy is at work"...
Mom and Dad did not have dinner that evening....
••
This is an exciting autumn.
Our athletes were breaking the records for the most
Olympic medals, and our political candidates are
breaking the records for the most campaign promises.
I can hardly wait until all the leaves turn brown to
match the grass.
Our athletes were breaking the records for the most
Olympic medals, and our political candidates are
breaking the records for the most campaign promises.
I can hardly wait until all the leaves turn brown to
match the grass.
••
