Down Hummingbird Lane

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My coworker, Bruce, went to Thailand and came
back as Sheila.
Now we are all starting to wonder who is naturally
born and who is surgically altered.
Ya never know....

 

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Girl #1 (picking up box of baking soda):
I didn't know soda was baked.
Girl #2: Thank God it's not fried!
Do you know how many extra calories that would
be?!

 

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Scene: Starbucks.
Customer:  Hey, you lost a lot of weight.
Barista: No, I gave birth two weeks ago.
Customer: To a baby?

 

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So far for Halloween, sales of Obama masks are 30%
higher than Mitt Romney masks...
Well, that makes sense!
What's scarier than four more years of this economy?

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While examining his lady patient, the doctor tells her:
"Your heart, lungs, pulse & BP are fine.
Now let me see that little thing which gets you ladies
into all kinds of trouble."
Lady starts taking off her clothes .....
Doctor, stopping her: "No! No!
Please put on your clothes.
Just show me your tongue."

 

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Spotted on a church marquee:
“Love your enemies;
After all, You made them.”

 

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Holding up a lottery ticket, a husband says to his wife...
"What would you do if I won the lottery?"
She says...
"I would take half, then leave you."
"Excellent", he replies...
"I won 12 bucks.....
Here's $6, now get the hell out."

 

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Never regret getting older......
It's a privilege denied to many.

 

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