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In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.
If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a
lecture on lip cancer...
If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a
lecture on lip cancer...
••
A young girl started work in the village drug store.
She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the
public.
After a few weeks the owner was going on holiday for
a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to
run the shop on her own.
She had to confide in him her worries about selling
the contraceptives.
"Look," he said.....
"My regular customers don’t ask for condoms,
they'll ask for a 310 [small] a 320[medium] or
a 330[large] so the word condom won’t even be used.
The first day was fine but on the second day a big
black guy came in to the shop, put out his hand and
said "Can I have 350 please”.
The girl panicked....
She phoned the owner on his mobile and told him of
her predicament.
"Go back in and check if he has a yellow bucket
hanging between his legs" her boss told her.
She peeped through the door and saw the yellow
bucket hanging between his legs.
"Yes !” she said ".... He's got one hanging there!"
The boss said "Go back in and give him $3.50....
He's the window cleaner!”
She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the
public.
After a few weeks the owner was going on holiday for
a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to
run the shop on her own.
She had to confide in him her worries about selling
the contraceptives.
"Look," he said.....
"My regular customers don’t ask for condoms,
they'll ask for a 310 [small] a 320[medium] or
a 330[large] so the word condom won’t even be used.
The first day was fine but on the second day a big
black guy came in to the shop, put out his hand and
said "Can I have 350 please”.
The girl panicked....
She phoned the owner on his mobile and told him of
her predicament.
"Go back in and check if he has a yellow bucket
hanging between his legs" her boss told her.
She peeped through the door and saw the yellow
bucket hanging between his legs.
"Yes !” she said ".... He's got one hanging there!"
The boss said "Go back in and give him $3.50....
He's the window cleaner!”
••
A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time
he bites off more than he can chew.
he bites off more than he can chew.
••
I was shocked to learn that in his old age, my
grandfather was pleasuring women in exchange for
money.
He's a gynaecologist with Parkinson's Disease....
I was shocked to learn that in his old age, my
grandfather was pleasuring women in exchange for
money.
He's a gynaecologist with Parkinson's Disease....
••
When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" a lawyer
answered, "A contingent fee to a lawyer means,
if I don't win your suit, I get nothing.
If I do win it, you get nothing."
answered, "A contingent fee to a lawyer means,
if I don't win your suit, I get nothing.
If I do win it, you get nothing."
••
Q: How is it that Greene county Rednecks never go
Elephant hunting?
A: That's because they get too tired carrying the decoys.
Elephant hunting?
A: That's because they get too tired carrying the decoys.
••
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair
but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to
terms with the whole thing.
I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to
terms with the whole thing.
I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
••
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
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He worked it out with a pencil.
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