••••••
•••
♥
Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for
you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and
you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..."
and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of
restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't
dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Sonic in the neighborhood with
a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for
you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and
you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..."
and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of
restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't
dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Sonic in the neighborhood with
a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
••
Yo mamma so stupid, she uses coupons at the 99
cent store.
cent store.
••
Our generation never got a break.
When we were young they taught us to respect our
elders.
Now that we are older, they tell us to listen to the
youth of the country.
When we were young they taught us to respect our
elders.
Now that we are older, they tell us to listen to the
youth of the country.
••
I am not scared of goblins or ghouls and things that
go bump in the night....
Werewolves and bats and witches and such do not
give me much of a fright ...
But there is this one thing that scares me to death
and only this one thing I fear....
And that's to open my fridge at night and find that
I'm all out of beer.
go bump in the night....
Werewolves and bats and witches and such do not
give me much of a fright ...
But there is this one thing that scares me to death
and only this one thing I fear....
And that's to open my fridge at night and find that
I'm all out of beer.
••
A young lad knocked on the door last night and
said "Trick or Treat?"
I said "What have you come as?"
He said "A werewolf."
I said "But you haven't got a costume on, you're just
in normal clothes"
He said "Well it's not a full moon yet is it, dummy?"
said "Trick or Treat?"
I said "What have you come as?"
He said "A werewolf."
I said "But you haven't got a costume on, you're just
in normal clothes"
He said "Well it's not a full moon yet is it, dummy?"
••
On Halloween I shouted through to the wife.
"Honey there's a witch at the door what shall I do?"
She replied, "Just give her some sweets and tell her
to feck off."
My mother-in-law hasn't spoken to me since.
"Honey there's a witch at the door what shall I do?"
She replied, "Just give her some sweets and tell her
to feck off."
My mother-in-law hasn't spoken to me since.
••
Just been told the clocks go back on Sunday...
Ah well that's got me messed up!
Can't remember where I bought them from ......
Ah well that's got me messed up!
Can't remember where I bought them from ......
••
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still
couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
••
