Down Hummingbird Lane

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♥

 

In The News:
An Oregon farmer has been eaten by his own pigs.
 Police have stated that "The possibility of foul play is
being investigated as well" - Does that mean the pigs
collaborated with the chickens in a planned attack?

 

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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water
them.

 

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Texting for Seniors -
ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friends Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM - Covered by Medicare
CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was 
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL - Living on Lipitor
LWO - Lawrence Welk's On
OMSG - Oh My! Sorry.... Gas
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
WTP - Where's the Prunes
WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!
DTAF - Don't Trust A Fart....

 

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Now that the S&P downgraded US Debt,
the White House said it's working on a 'plan B.'
Unfortunately, the B stands for "bake sale."

 

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Never answer an anonymous letter. - Yogi Berra

 

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The sheriff of a small lawless town way out west walks
into the saloon, and shouts for everyone's attention.
"Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?" he asks.
 "What's he look like?" asks one shoddy looking cowboy.
"Well," the sheriff answers, "he wears a brown paper hat,
a brown paper waistcoat, a brown paper shirt, brown paper
boots, brown paper pants, and a brown paper jacket."
 "So what's he wanted for?" asks the same cowboy.
"Rustlin'," replies the sheriff.

 

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After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were
amazed to find that the Titanic's swimming pool was still
full

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