••••••
•••
♥
If you're behind someone at a cash machine let them
know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
••
Every time someone predicts the date of the end of the
world, God pushes the date back a little just to be funny.
world, God pushes the date back a little just to be funny.
••
Three guys are debating who has the best memory.
The first guy says: "I can remember the first day at
elementary school."
The second guy says: "I can remember my first day at
nursery school!"
Not to be outdone, the third guy says:
"That's nothing! I can remember going to the senior prom
with my father, and coming home with my mother."
The first guy says: "I can remember the first day at
elementary school."
The second guy says: "I can remember my first day at
nursery school!"
Not to be outdone, the third guy says:
"That's nothing! I can remember going to the senior prom
with my father, and coming home with my mother."
••
My computer always beats me at chess.
But, I beat it in kick boxing.....
But, I beat it in kick boxing.....
••
Streakers, repent... your end is in sight....
••
A Soldier's Brilliant Idea;
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business,
and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air.
He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying,
so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat.
He found all of them had already had been taken except
for one.
There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one,
and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the
one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards
it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a
notice on it.
It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for
proper load balance, thank you."
Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a
plane before, but he thought that the plane must be
carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked
on and found another empty seat, not beside a window,
to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside
the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on,
when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried
into the plane.
The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in,
quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in
this way succeeded in having the company of the girl
during the whole trip.
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business,
and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air.
He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying,
so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat.
He found all of them had already had been taken except
for one.
There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one,
and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the
one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards
it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a
notice on it.
It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for
proper load balance, thank you."
Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a
plane before, but he thought that the plane must be
carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked
on and found another empty seat, not beside a window,
to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside
the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on,
when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried
into the plane.
The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in,
quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in
this way succeeded in having the company of the girl
during the whole trip.
••
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove
which would only consume half of the coal she was
burning.
She was very excited, and said:
"Thatll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal,
if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
which would only consume half of the coal she was
burning.
She was very excited, and said:
"Thatll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal,
if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
••
I used to date a tree surgeon, but it didn't work out.
She seemed kind of shady.
She seemed kind of shady.
••
