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Unknown landing signal officer (LSO) to carrier pilot after
his sixth unsuccessful landing attempt:
"You've got to land here son . . . this is where the food is."
his sixth unsuccessful landing attempt:
"You've got to land here son . . . this is where the food is."
••
The three best things in life are: A good landing, a good
orgasm, and a good bowel movement.
A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to
experience all three at the same time.
orgasm, and a good bowel movement.
A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to
experience all three at the same time.
••
Just ‘cause you got the monkey off your back,
it doesn’t mean the circus left town.
it doesn’t mean the circus left town.
--George Carlin--
••
A young man was in love with a girl.
At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema.
When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to
the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please.
"When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had
sold out, the disappointed young man said,
"Then do you have any sur- tickets that can allow us to
stand together?"
At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema.
When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to
the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please.
"When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had
sold out, the disappointed young man said,
"Then do you have any sur- tickets that can allow us to
stand together?"
••
I had to get my pet rock put down this afternoon..
It kept attacking all my scissors.
It kept attacking all my scissors.
••
I know a lot of people won't eat Italian food at a restaurant.
They always say the same thing, Im not going to spend
$10 for a dollars worth of pasta.
Plus no one makes Italian food like my grandmother.
Well you do spend a little extra for Italian food at a
restaurant but for that extra $9 you get a heaping side
order of not hanging out with your grandmother.
They always say the same thing, Im not going to spend
$10 for a dollars worth of pasta.
Plus no one makes Italian food like my grandmother.
Well you do spend a little extra for Italian food at a
restaurant but for that extra $9 you get a heaping side
order of not hanging out with your grandmother.
••
Pete: My wife and I heard that coffee is good for your sex
life.
Gusman: Oh, and is it?
Pete: No..... It kept me awake for the whole damn thing.
I actually had to participate!
life.
Gusman: Oh, and is it?
Pete: No..... It kept me awake for the whole damn thing.
I actually had to participate!
••
You know you're getting old when you go into a room
and can't remember why......
And it's the toilet.
and can't remember why......
And it's the toilet.
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