Sunday, October 7, 2012

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If you are bored this weekend you can always secretly
replace the litter in your cat's litter box with pop rocks..
 
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Babies are born with 300 bones, but by adulthood,
we have only 206 in our bodies.
 
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My girl wants to change the engagement rules.
She tells me, Babe, why do I got to wear a ring and
let guys know I'm taken, and you don't got to wear
nothing?
I told her, Babe, I wear my sad face every day.
 
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My neighbor was tired of my dog drinking out of
his birdbath so he filled the birdbath with gasoline.
Poor old Yeller drank all the gasoline than ran ran
ran ran round round round in circles.
Then Yeller just, well, just, well laid down and
ran out of gas...
 
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Last Thanksgiving I had the chance to do the
traditional thing and shoot my own turkey.
Man, you should have seen the people in the
Food Lion meat department scatter!!
 
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 "Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate
you dislike least." - Robert Byrne
 
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A child in class, when asked to draw a picture of the
Holy Family, produced a picture in which Mary and
the baby sat on a donkey, led by Joseph.
on the ground nearby lay a black blob.
"What is that?" asked the teacher.
"The flea," answered the artist.
"What flea, dear?" asked the puzzled teacher.
"The one the Angel told Joseph to take."
Eventually, puzzled but not liking to challenge an
imaginative child, the teacher checked out her Bible.
And there it was :
Matthew 2:13 "......the angel of the Lord saying,
Arise, and take the young child and his mother,
and flee into Egypt..........."
 
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I can't believe how strong the winds were last night.
I slipped out to get my wife some milk and got blown into
the local pub.
 
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