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A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4
("knowing my own hidden secrets") and Psalms 52:3-4
("lies and deceit"), a man wrote the following letter to the IRS:
"I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on
my income tax.
I understated my taxable income, and have enclosed a check
for $150.00.
"If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."
("knowing my own hidden secrets") and Psalms 52:3-4
("lies and deceit"), a man wrote the following letter to the IRS:
"I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on
my income tax.
I understated my taxable income, and have enclosed a check
for $150.00.
"If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."
••
Marriage is – The joining of two people, one who
never remembers birthdays, and the other who never
forgets them.
never remembers birthdays, and the other who never
forgets them.
••
Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the
Halloween party?
He was going as a banana!
Halloween party?
He was going as a banana!
••
"Give man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime."
2012 White House Revision:
Give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone with
unlimited free minutes, cash for his clunker, food
stamps, section 8 housing, free contraceptives,
Medicaid, ninety-nine weeks of unemployment,
free meds, and he will vote for
Democrats the rest of his life - even after he's deceased.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime."
2012 White House Revision:
Give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone with
unlimited free minutes, cash for his clunker, food
stamps, section 8 housing, free contraceptives,
Medicaid, ninety-nine weeks of unemployment,
free meds, and he will vote for
Democrats the rest of his life - even after he's deceased.
••
Timmy's single.
He told me he often thinks about his future wife
and how lax shes been about getting in touch with
him.
He told me he often thinks about his future wife
and how lax shes been about getting in touch with
him.
••
"What are your qualifications for the job of night
watchman?"
"The slightest noise wakes me up."
"What are your qualifications for the job of night
watchman?"
"The slightest noise wakes me up."
••
You look at our grandparents generation, and
they're a much tougher people than us.
My grandfather went through the war, the Depression
He came back from the war.
He built his house brick-by-brick with his own hands,
went and worked at a mill for 40 years after that.
I built a bong out of an apple once.
I bragged for like six months.
they're a much tougher people than us.
My grandfather went through the war, the Depression
He came back from the war.
He built his house brick-by-brick with his own hands,
went and worked at a mill for 40 years after that.
I built a bong out of an apple once.
I bragged for like six months.
••
The wife and I were down the town when she said,
"Look at that handsome fella, arm and arm,
with that complete skank!"
How smug was I telling her it was our reflection in
a shop window.
"Look at that handsome fella, arm and arm,
with that complete skank!"
How smug was I telling her it was our reflection in
a shop window.
••
MEDICAL Alert:
BUYAGRA: two formulations
(Female)
Potent stimulant that, if taken prior to shopping,
increases stamina and credit limit, and decreases
guilty feelings and the need to rationalize purchases.
(MALE)
Potent stimulant that creates irresistible urges for
men to spend ridiculous amounts of money on their
wives without expecting anything in return.
BUYAGRA: two formulations
(Female)
Potent stimulant that, if taken prior to shopping,
increases stamina and credit limit, and decreases
guilty feelings and the need to rationalize purchases.
(MALE)
Potent stimulant that creates irresistible urges for
men to spend ridiculous amounts of money on their
wives without expecting anything in return.
••
