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It appears the sheep and cattle in Australia are farting up
such a storm that all the released gas is aggravating the
Greenhouse Effect.
To help plug up the problem, and motivate ranch owners
to take action, the government in Sydney has considered
putting a tax on the critters’ emissions.
Now....How do you stop them from farting??
Or better yet, how do you catch said gas..?
such a storm that all the released gas is aggravating the
Greenhouse Effect.
To help plug up the problem, and motivate ranch owners
to take action, the government in Sydney has considered
putting a tax on the critters’ emissions.
Now....How do you stop them from farting??
Or better yet, how do you catch said gas..?
••
"Quotes on the internet are not always accurate!"
- Abraham Lincoln
- Abraham Lincoln
••
A man called the Vet:
"I plan on sending my wife over with the cat tomorrow
and was wondering if you could put her to sleep?"
"Sure" said the Vet "but can the cat find its way back
home all by herself?"
"I plan on sending my wife over with the cat tomorrow
and was wondering if you could put her to sleep?"
"Sure" said the Vet "but can the cat find its way back
home all by herself?"
••
I was car shopping last weekend and looked at several
"certified used cars".
Why do they spend extra money certifying that it's used?
I know a used car when I see one.
"certified used cars".
Why do they spend extra money certifying that it's used?
I know a used car when I see one.
••
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of
the rascally behavior that was going on.
He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.
So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth
for a time.
When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth;
95% are misbehaving and 5% are being good."
God was not pleased.
So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good,
because He wanted to encourage them.
Give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what His E-mail said?
No?
I didn't get one either.
the rascally behavior that was going on.
He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.
So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth
for a time.
When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth;
95% are misbehaving and 5% are being good."
God was not pleased.
So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good,
because He wanted to encourage them.
Give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what His E-mail said?
No?
I didn't get one either.
••
A mother is reading a book to her 3 year old daughter.
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moo!"
Mother: "Great!
What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so smart!
What does the frog say?"
The wide-eyed little 3 year-old looks up at her mother
and in her deepest voice replies, "Bud."
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moo!"
Mother: "Great!
What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so smart!
What does the frog say?"
The wide-eyed little 3 year-old looks up at her mother
and in her deepest voice replies, "Bud."
••
Q. Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters
exclusively to lawyers?
A. It's called, Sosumi.
exclusively to lawyers?
A. It's called, Sosumi.
••
You might be a redneck if...
Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
There are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.
You think a turtleneck is a key ingredient in soup.
You've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with
a freak of nature.
Your anniversary present was getting the septic tank
pumped.
Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.
You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.
You think you are an entrepreneur because of the
"Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
You're still scalping tickets after the concert is over...
Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
There are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.
You think a turtleneck is a key ingredient in soup.
You've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with
a freak of nature.
Your anniversary present was getting the septic tank
pumped.
Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.
You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.
You think you are an entrepreneur because of the
"Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
You're still scalping tickets after the concert is over...
••
Some people say that, Alcohols a drug.
Not me, I call it a vitamin.
Cause whatever your deficiency is, alcohol will treat it...
Not me, I call it a vitamin.
Cause whatever your deficiency is, alcohol will treat it...
••
Luke, who lived in a small town, was teased everywhere
he went as he had a completely bald head!
Having put up with it for years, he decided to would not
take it any more.
So he climbed a tall tower and shouted for everyone
to hear: "I am not bald, it just so happens that I'm taller
than my hair!"
he went as he had a completely bald head!
Having put up with it for years, he decided to would not
take it any more.
So he climbed a tall tower and shouted for everyone
to hear: "I am not bald, it just so happens that I'm taller
than my hair!"
