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Have you ever seen a 300lb. woman in Spandex?
I did and don't think I can ever go back to wal-mart.
I did and don't think I can ever go back to wal-mart.
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Medical Miracles....
Researchers at UCLA medical center have invented the
first marijuana based suppository.
The only draw back so far is that ten minutes after
insertion you have a desire to shove a Mars bar up your butt!
Researchers at UCLA medical center have invented the
first marijuana based suppository.
The only draw back so far is that ten minutes after
insertion you have a desire to shove a Mars bar up your butt!
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Not all political jokes are funny...
Some get elected.
Some get elected.
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Each Friday night I drove my wife to the train station so
she could go visit her sister who was ill.
Ten minutes later, MY sister arrived by train so that she
could help with the house and kids over the weekend
while my wife was gone.
On Sundays this procedure worked in reverse with my
sister departing by train 10 minutes before my wife arrived.
One evening after my sister left and while I awaited my
wife's arrival, a porter sauntered over.
"Mister," he said, "you sure have some system going!
But one of these days you're goin' to get caught!"
she could go visit her sister who was ill.
Ten minutes later, MY sister arrived by train so that she
could help with the house and kids over the weekend
while my wife was gone.
On Sundays this procedure worked in reverse with my
sister departing by train 10 minutes before my wife arrived.
One evening after my sister left and while I awaited my
wife's arrival, a porter sauntered over.
"Mister," he said, "you sure have some system going!
But one of these days you're goin' to get caught!"
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The Dolphin that Commited Suicide...
He lost his sense of porpoise.
The Dolphin that Commited Suicide...
He lost his sense of porpoise.
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In the midst of a terrible storm, a Great Dane and a
dachshund find themselves standing in a snowdrift.
"Brr," says the Great Dane...... "My paws are freezing."
"Don't whine to me," says the dachshund.
"I've got my own troubles."
dachshund find themselves standing in a snowdrift.
"Brr," says the Great Dane...... "My paws are freezing."
"Don't whine to me," says the dachshund.
"I've got my own troubles."
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When I was dating I created rules for dating......
the first one was the Kayak rule.
1. If your ass doesn’t fit in my Kayak I don't go out with you.
2. If you are in any 12 step program I don't go out with you.
3. If you don’t have anything I don’t go out with you.
(My last wife didn’t have anything, now she has half of my
things).
the first one was the Kayak rule.
1. If your ass doesn’t fit in my Kayak I don't go out with you.
2. If you are in any 12 step program I don't go out with you.
3. If you don’t have anything I don’t go out with you.
(My last wife didn’t have anything, now she has half of my
things).
••
Did you know that if you put your ear up against a
stranger's ear, you can hear them say,
"What the hell are you doing?"
stranger's ear, you can hear them say,
"What the hell are you doing?"
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An engineer was leaving work one day..
On his way out he see's the CEO trying to put a peice
of paper in the shredder.
The CEO asks him, 'Can you make this thing work?
My secretaries off today and its real important.'
The Engineer turns it on and puts the paper into the
shredder.
As its slowly dissappearing into the shredder the CEO
says, 'I only need one copy'.
On his way out he see's the CEO trying to put a peice
of paper in the shredder.
The CEO asks him, 'Can you make this thing work?
My secretaries off today and its real important.'
The Engineer turns it on and puts the paper into the
shredder.
As its slowly dissappearing into the shredder the CEO
says, 'I only need one copy'.
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