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♥
It's Caesar's birthday, and his wife wants to know what
to give him for his birthday.
His guard tells him to round up a hundred Christians and
crucify them all along the Appian Way.
Caesar rides into town on his chariot, and he can see his
birthday present - dead, lifeless husks dangling from the
crosses.
But one man is whispering.
"Halt the chariot!....
Someone get me a ladder.....
I want to hear what kind of prayer a Christian utters to
his God when he dies".
He climbs up the ladder and puts his ear to the dying
man's mouth......
"...happy birthday ... to you..... happy birthday.. TO you..."
to give him for his birthday.
His guard tells him to round up a hundred Christians and
crucify them all along the Appian Way.
Caesar rides into town on his chariot, and he can see his
birthday present - dead, lifeless husks dangling from the
crosses.
But one man is whispering.
"Halt the chariot!....
Someone get me a ladder.....
I want to hear what kind of prayer a Christian utters to
his God when he dies".
He climbs up the ladder and puts his ear to the dying
man's mouth......
"...happy birthday ... to you..... happy birthday.. TO you..."
••
My wife says I never talk to her.........
That is untrue, just last night I asked her if she had
anything to say before football season started.
That is untrue, just last night I asked her if she had
anything to say before football season started.
••
I got chatting to a girl in a club, "Can I buy you a drink?"
I asked.
"Have you not got a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like
you always have girlfriends."
"No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured
her.
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then,
I'll have a white wine please."
A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle we headed off
back to her place and made passionate love.
While I was putting my clothes back on she said,
"So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed,
can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"
I said, "My wife found out.”
I asked.
"Have you not got a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like
you always have girlfriends."
"No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured
her.
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then,
I'll have a white wine please."
A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle we headed off
back to her place and made passionate love.
While I was putting my clothes back on she said,
"So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed,
can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"
I said, "My wife found out.”
••
Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.
••
Funny but true: "Closets are something some people hang
things in when they run out of doorknobs."
Funny but true: "Closets are something some people hang
things in when they run out of doorknobs."
••
Listen! You smell something?
••
A man and his wife moved back home to Newfoundland ,
from Vancouver.
The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in BC was
$2000.00 a year!
When they arrived in Newfoundland , they went to an
Insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure
the wooden leg.
The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the
couple, '$39.00.'
The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap
here in Newfoundland to insure, because it cost him
$2000.00 in BC!
The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and
said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says:
*Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it,
is $39.00.*'
from Vancouver.
The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in BC was
$2000.00 a year!
When they arrived in Newfoundland , they went to an
Insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure
the wooden leg.
The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the
couple, '$39.00.'
The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap
here in Newfoundland to insure, because it cost him
$2000.00 in BC!
The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and
said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says:
*Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it,
is $39.00.*'
••
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
Details are sketchy.
Details are sketchy.
••
Snacking tip.....
The healthiest part of a donut is the hole.
Unfortunately you have to eat through the rest of the
donut to get there.
Snacking tip.....
The healthiest part of a donut is the hole.
Unfortunately you have to eat through the rest of the
donut to get there.
••
