••••••
•••
♥
"Excuse me, could you tell me the time?" asked the blonde
of a man on the street corner.
"Sure....it's three fifteen,"he replied with a smile.
"Thanks," she said, a puzzled look crossing her face.
"You know, it's the weirdest thing.....I've been asking that
question all day long, and each time I get a different answer."
of a man on the street corner.
"Sure....it's three fifteen,"he replied with a smile.
"Thanks," she said, a puzzled look crossing her face.
"You know, it's the weirdest thing.....I've been asking that
question all day long, and each time I get a different answer."
••
One beautiful Sunday morning, a minister announced to
his congregation: "My good people, I have here in my
hands three sermons...
a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes,
a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes,
and a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour.
Now, we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver."
his congregation: "My good people, I have here in my
hands three sermons...
a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes,
a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes,
and a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour.
Now, we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver."
••
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square,
until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners
off.
until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners
off.
••
Passion is tearing the panties off.
Sexy is seductively sliding them down.
Married is taking time to fold them.
Sexy is seductively sliding them down.
Married is taking time to fold them.
••
Ole was arrested one night while walking bare-naked
down the streets of a little town in Minnesota.
The policeman, who was a good friend of Ole's, said,
"Ole, what in the world are you doing?
Where are your clothes?....... You're naked."
"Yah, I know," said Ole.
"You see, I vas over to dat playboy Swen's for his birthday
party.
Dere vas about 28 of us...... Der vas boys and girls."
"Is that right?" his policeman friend asked.
"Yah, yah, anyvay, dat Swen, he says, 'Everybody get into
da bedroom!'
So, vee all go into the bedroom, where den he yells,
'Everybody git naked!'
Vel, vee all got undressed.
Den he yells, 'Everybody go to town!'"
"Oh, my!" exclaimed the policeman.
"Yah, yah, I guess I'm the first one here."
down the streets of a little town in Minnesota.
The policeman, who was a good friend of Ole's, said,
"Ole, what in the world are you doing?
Where are your clothes?....... You're naked."
"Yah, I know," said Ole.
"You see, I vas over to dat playboy Swen's for his birthday
party.
Dere vas about 28 of us...... Der vas boys and girls."
"Is that right?" his policeman friend asked.
"Yah, yah, anyvay, dat Swen, he says, 'Everybody get into
da bedroom!'
So, vee all go into the bedroom, where den he yells,
'Everybody git naked!'
Vel, vee all got undressed.
Den he yells, 'Everybody go to town!'"
"Oh, my!" exclaimed the policeman.
"Yah, yah, I guess I'm the first one here."
••
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good
looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck
roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck
roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
••
Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents;
maturity is when you learn that everything is the fault of
the younger generation.
maturity is when you learn that everything is the fault of
the younger generation.
••
I'm really pissed off.....
I had to take a drugs test the other day and it came back
negative.
Which means my dealer's got some explaining to do.
I had to take a drugs test the other day and it came back
negative.
Which means my dealer's got some explaining to do.
••
