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♥
After years of wondering why he didn't look like his
siblings, the son finally got up the nerve to ask his mother
if he was adopted.
"Yes, you were adopted, son," his mother said as she
started to cry softly.
"But it didn't work out, and they brought you back."
siblings, the son finally got up the nerve to ask his mother
if he was adopted.
"Yes, you were adopted, son," his mother said as she
started to cry softly.
"But it didn't work out, and they brought you back."
••
Quote of the Day;
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate,
now what's going to happen to us with both a House and
a Senate? --Will Rogers--
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate,
now what's going to happen to us with both a House and
a Senate? --Will Rogers--
••
What do you find inside of a clean nostril?
Fingerprints.
Fingerprints.
••
One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the
bartender for a drink.
Then he asks for another.
After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.
”What’s the matter?” the bartender asks.
”My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy “and
now she isn’t talking to me for a whole 31 days.”
The bartender thought about this for a while.
“But, isn’t it a good thing that she isn’t talking to you?”
asked the bartender.
”Yeah, except today is the last night.”
bartender for a drink.
Then he asks for another.
After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.
”What’s the matter?” the bartender asks.
”My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy “and
now she isn’t talking to me for a whole 31 days.”
The bartender thought about this for a while.
“But, isn’t it a good thing that she isn’t talking to you?”
asked the bartender.
”Yeah, except today is the last night.”
••
My dog used to chase anyone on a bike,
so I took it away from him.
so I took it away from him.
••
Nicholas and Brenda had been married long.
They had a luxurious fishing boat which they often used
together, but it was Nicholas who was always behind the
wheel operating the boat.
He was concerned about what might happen if there was
an emergency.
So one day out on the lake, Nicholas suddenly announced
to Brenda, "Ok sweetheart, this is an emergency drill.
Pretend that I am having a cardiac arrest.
You must get the boat safely to shore."
Brenda was initially taken aback, but she soon composed
herself and managed to safely drive the boat to shore.
They had a luxurious fishing boat which they often used
together, but it was Nicholas who was always behind the
wheel operating the boat.
He was concerned about what might happen if there was
an emergency.
So one day out on the lake, Nicholas suddenly announced
to Brenda, "Ok sweetheart, this is an emergency drill.
Pretend that I am having a cardiac arrest.
You must get the boat safely to shore."
Brenda was initially taken aback, but she soon composed
herself and managed to safely drive the boat to shore.
Later that evening, Brenda walked into the living room
where Nicholas was watching tv.
She sat down next to him, snatched the remote control,
switched the channel, and said to him,"OK sweetheart,
this is a drill.
Pretend I'm having a cardiac arrest.
You must set the table, cook dinner, and wash the dishes."
where Nicholas was watching tv.
She sat down next to him, snatched the remote control,
switched the channel, and said to him,"OK sweetheart,
this is a drill.
Pretend I'm having a cardiac arrest.
You must set the table, cook dinner, and wash the dishes."
••
Mommy, do all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time?"
"No, dear...... Nowadays, lots of them start with,
"If I am elected...".
"No, dear...... Nowadays, lots of them start with,
"If I am elected...".
••
I've been learning ventriloquism for the last year.
Now my wife thinks she's hearing voices in her head
telling her to lose weight.
Now my wife thinks she's hearing voices in her head
telling her to lose weight.
••
As a group of people boarded a packed hotel elevator,
Gus was pushed to the rear corner.
Unable to reach the panel of buttons, he called out,
“Ballroom, please.”
“I’m sorry,” the woman in front of him said.
“I didn’t realize I was crowding you.”
Gus was pushed to the rear corner.
Unable to reach the panel of buttons, he called out,
“Ballroom, please.”
“I’m sorry,” the woman in front of him said.
“I didn’t realize I was crowding you.”
••
