Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Happy Hump day....
Good Morning, Friends...
••







•••••
•••
Bucky was driving through the county when he spotted
a horse standing in a field.
 He was quite taken with the animal and so pulled over
to ask the farmer if it was for sale.
 "Afraid not," said the farmer.
"I'll give you a thousand bucks!" said Bucky.
"I can't sell you that horse.
He don't look too good," replied the farmer.
"I know horses and he looks fine.
I'll give you two thousand!"
"Well, all right, if you want him so bad."
The next day, Bucky returned the horse,
screaming that he had been gypped.
"You sold me a blind horse!"
"Well," said the farmer,
"I told you he didn't look too good."

••
Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising
for good looking female flies.
One spots a real cutie sitting on a pile of
horse manure
and dives down toward her.
"Pardon me" he asks, turning on his best charm, "
...but is this stool taken?"
••
A husband retuning from a business trip was informed
by his wife that a burglar had entered their house
while he was gone.
“Did he get anything?” the husband anxiously inquired.
“I’ll say he did,” replied the wife.
“It was dark and I thought he was you.”

••
Riddle......
Three elderly ladies are excited about their first
Mariners base ball game.
They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniels in to the game.
The game is real exciting and they are enjoying the game
and drinking Jack Daniels mixed in their soft drinks.
Soon they realize that the bottle of Jack Daniels is almost
gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.
Using the clues given, what inning is the game in and
what is the status of the game?
Answer........
The game is in the bottom of the fifth and the bags
are loaded.

••
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

••
Useless knowledge:
Until 1937, the referee had to throw a jump ball after
every basket.
••
When I was 16. my parents tried to surprise me with
a new car.
I saw them coming and jumped out of the way!
••
It was my first parachute jump, and I was petrified. 
I'd watched the rest of my airborned troop leap out of the
plane, and I wanted no part of it.
Just then, a gust of wind sucked my glasses off my face
and out the door. 
My jumpmaster had a solution. 
He shoved me out the door and ordered,
 "Go get 'em!"

••