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"I had to get a 'Beware of the Dog' sign for my front
door yesterday," I told my friends...."For that old dog of yours? He never moves." he said.
"I know, people keep tripping over him as they walk
through the door."...... I replied.
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The worst computer viruses yet:
1. AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you're getting.
2. MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that
you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
3. Paul Revere Virus: Warns of impending hard disk attack
-- once if by LAN, twice if by C:\>.
4. Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a "virus."
Instead, it's an "electronic micro-organism."
5. Government Spokesman Virus: Nothing works,
but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
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A little girl said, "Grandpa, can I sit on your lap?
"Why sure you can," her grandfather replied. As she sat on her grandfather's lap she said,
"Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?"
"A sound like a frog?
Well, sure Grandpa can make a sound like a frog."
The girl said, "Grandpa, will you please, please make a
sound like a frog?"
Perplexed, her grandfather said, "Sweetheart, why do you
want me to make a sound like a frog?"
And the little girl said, "Because Grandma said that when
you croak, we're going to Florida!"
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Question And Answer Blond Jokes....
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven?A: She didn't know what number came first.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence
gone?
A: Divorced.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.
Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.
Q: Why did it take the blonde seven days to drive from
St. Louis to Chicago?
A: She kept seeing signs that read "stop clean bathroom".
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Wife says to husband "you only ever want sex when you're
drunk."Husband says "thats not true.......
sometimes I want a kebab"
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I'm writing a book.
I've got the page numbers done, so now I just have to fill in the rest.
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I've almost bought my own clothes back from a thrift store.
Have you done that one yet? You know, like, Oh, this shirts great, it reminds me of
something I used to -- oh, damn it...
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This is an exciting autumn.
Our athletes are breaking the records for the most Olympic medals, and our political candidates are
breaking the records for the most campaign promises.
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