Funny, I don't feel older....
••
Blogger won't let me finish download
any more this morning.....
••••••
•••
♥
If you ever see three New Yorkers get into a cab without
an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
••
Lawyer: Tell us your brother-in-law's name?
Witness: Walker
Lawyer: What is his first name?
Witness: I am sorry I can't remember.
Lawyer: He's been your brother-in-law for so many years,
how is it possible that you can't remember his first name?
Witness: It's just that I am very nervous.
(Getting up from the witness chair and pointing to Walker)
Toby, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name.
Witness: Walker
Lawyer: What is his first name?
Witness: I am sorry I can't remember.
Lawyer: He's been your brother-in-law for so many years,
how is it possible that you can't remember his first name?
Witness: It's just that I am very nervous.
(Getting up from the witness chair and pointing to Walker)
Toby, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name.
••
A schoolteacher, taking her class through a mild general
knowledge quiz, decided to test their knowledge of some of
the old proverbs.
She pointed out one little boy and said, "Complete this
saying, "Cleanliness is next to...?"
"Impossible," said the boy.
knowledge quiz, decided to test their knowledge of some of
the old proverbs.
She pointed out one little boy and said, "Complete this
saying, "Cleanliness is next to...?"
"Impossible," said the boy.
••
The Sanskrit word for 'war' translates as
'desire for more cows'.
'desire for more cows'.
••
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully,
"Give me one last request, dear," he said.
"Of course, John," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said..
With his last breath John said, "I do!"
"Give me one last request, dear," he said.
"Of course, John," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said..
With his last breath John said, "I do!"
••
Two confirmed bachelors were sitting and talking.
Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.
“I got a cookbook once,” said the first, “but I could never
do anything with it.”
“Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?” asked the second.
“You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way -
‘Take a clean dish and…’
Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.
“I got a cookbook once,” said the first, “but I could never
do anything with it.”
“Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?” asked the second.
“You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way -
‘Take a clean dish and…’
••
Carpenter bees are a hoax......
I bought 50 of them and they haven't built a damn thing.
I bought 50 of them and they haven't built a damn thing.
••
A Sunday school teacher asked her students to draw a
picture of Jesus' family.
After collecting the drawings, she noticed that one little
boy's drawing depicted an airplane with four heads sticking
out of the windows.
"I see you drew three heads to show Joseph, Mary and
Jesus," she said to the boy.
"But who does the fourth head belong to?"
The boy replied, "That's Pontius the pilot."
picture of Jesus' family.
After collecting the drawings, she noticed that one little
boy's drawing depicted an airplane with four heads sticking
out of the windows.
"I see you drew three heads to show Joseph, Mary and
Jesus," she said to the boy.
"But who does the fourth head belong to?"
The boy replied, "That's Pontius the pilot."
☺☺
