Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning...Everyone...
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I use to struggle with weight gain.....
Now it's no problem putting on 10 or 20 pounds.

 

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My doctor says I’m in the first stages of Fossilization.

 

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Free paper wasp nest complete with wasps.
You remove it you can have it.

 

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A guy walks into a bar.
He orders a drink, and after a few, he must visit the john.
He does not want anyone to steal his drink.
So he puts a sign on it. saying: " I SPIT IN THIS BEER,
DO NOT DRINK'.
After a few minutes he returns.
There is another sign next to his beer, saying, SO DID I.

 

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 One congressman to another: 
"The first thing you have to learn as a new
congressman is that a billion is simply a figure of
speech."

 

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For every action there is an equal and opposite
government program.

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Top Ten Ways To Describe The Current Weather
10.Partly apocalyptic..
9.Mostly sweaty..
8.Fetid with a chance of putrid..
7.Toupee-glue melting..
6.Sauna-rific..
5.Sunstroke-tastic..
4.Soupy (but not chilled soups, like Vichyossie or Gazapcho)..
3.Global basting..
2.Mamma Mia, that’s a spicy forecast! ..
1.So shvitzy I could plotz..

 

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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her right breast.
It turned out to be a trick knee.

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horrible....
went to my doctor yesterday and they found blood in
my alcohol stream.
please send cash.....

 

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Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?
A. They take the psycho path.