Having Temps in the 80's
and some showers, so feels
pretty good...
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♥
My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds
of people:
those who do the work and those who take the credit.
He told me to try to be in the first group;
there was much less competition.
of people:
those who do the work and those who take the credit.
He told me to try to be in the first group;
there was much less competition.
••
NASA confirms, via satellite images....
That the the missing mars rover has been found on the
south side of the planet but it is up on blocks and the
radio is gone.
The good news is a cop, a tow truck driver, and an
insurance adjuster were launched today on a ten year
recovery mission.
That the the missing mars rover has been found on the
south side of the planet but it is up on blocks and the
radio is gone.
The good news is a cop, a tow truck driver, and an
insurance adjuster were launched today on a ten year
recovery mission.
••
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess
what day a woman was born just by feeling their tits,
"Really" she said. "Go on then...try"
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose
patience.
"Come on, what day was I born"?
I said, ”yesterday".
what day a woman was born just by feeling their tits,
"Really" she said. "Go on then...try"
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose
patience.
"Come on, what day was I born"?
I said, ”yesterday".
••
Dodgeball Skills.....
Part of growing up is learning your strengths and
weaknesses.
What better way to figure out that hand-eye coordination
aint your thing thang by getting drilled in the mouth by
a red, rubber ball?
You only gotta get beaned in the face so many times
before you figure out, I better hit the books because this
is not working out.
Part of growing up is learning your strengths and
weaknesses.
What better way to figure out that hand-eye coordination
aint your thing thang by getting drilled in the mouth by
a red, rubber ball?
You only gotta get beaned in the face so many times
before you figure out, I better hit the books because this
is not working out.
••
I feel all warm and fuzzy inside right now.
But then again, I just ate a live squirrel.
But then again, I just ate a live squirrel.
••
A recent study showed that only forty-three percent of all
people polled in the U.S. stated that illegal immigration is
a serious problem.
The other 57 percent answered, "No hablo inglés."
people polled in the U.S. stated that illegal immigration is
a serious problem.
The other 57 percent answered, "No hablo inglés."
••
Walking home after a Halloween party, two young men
decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery for a thrill.
They both stopped abruptly when they heard a mysterious
tap-tap-tapping noise in the shadows.
Their eyes grew large until the mist cleared and they saw
an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping at one of
the headstones.
"Geez, mister!" one of them exclaimed.
"You scared us half to death!
We thought you were a ghost!
What are you doing working here so late at night?"
The old man replied angrily, "Those darn fools misspelled
my name!"
decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery for a thrill.
They both stopped abruptly when they heard a mysterious
tap-tap-tapping noise in the shadows.
Their eyes grew large until the mist cleared and they saw
an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping at one of
the headstones.
"Geez, mister!" one of them exclaimed.
"You scared us half to death!
We thought you were a ghost!
What are you doing working here so late at night?"
The old man replied angrily, "Those darn fools misspelled
my name!"
••
Thought for the Day....
A penny saved is a government oversight.
Did you ever notice: When you put the two words
"The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?
A penny saved is a government oversight.
Did you ever notice: When you put the two words
"The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?
••
My doctor told me to start my exercise program
slowly.
Today I drove past a store that sells sweat pants.
My doctor told me to start my exercise program
slowly.
Today I drove past a store that sells sweat pants.
••
To spice up our sex life I suggested that the wife tie me
up on the bed,
I was really happy when she readily agreed!
Not so happy now though, shes left me here and took off
with the credit card!
up on the bed,
I was really happy when she readily agreed!
Not so happy now though, shes left me here and took off
with the credit card!
