Well, it's Sunday and their
calling for rain.....
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••••••
•••
♥
My friend lost both his ears in a car accident
and I went to see him in hospital.
"It's not too bad, I can still hear,"
"It's not too bad, I can still hear,"
he said, philosophically.
"I'm just going to need to adapt I suppose."
"Yeah," I said, "speaking of that,
"I'm just going to need to adapt I suppose."
"Yeah," I said, "speaking of that,
can I have your Ray Bans?"
••
I kept failing to get a job as a butcher because
I couldn't
just make the cut.
just make the cut.
••
•President Obama is still reminding people
that he inherited this economy.
Let me tell you something.
If this economy doesn't turn around soon,
Let me tell you something.
If this economy doesn't turn around soon,
his inheritance
could be cut off in November.
could be cut off in November.
••
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will.
There's no need to remind him every
There's no need to remind him every
six months about it.
••
A little girl asked her father......
“Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with
"Once Upon A Time"?
He replied, “No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that
begin with "If elected I promise".”
“Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with
"Once Upon A Time"?
He replied, “No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that
begin with "If elected I promise".”
••
I've entered the snapdragon part of my life.....
Part of me has snapped.
The rest of me is draggin.
I've entered the snapdragon part of my life.....
Part of me has snapped.
The rest of me is draggin.
••
Laying on my side for colonoscopy.
That is a damn good camera on the end of that tube that
has windshield wipers. stainless steel snare, scissors,
vacuum tube, enough air pressure to rescue a truck with
18 flats.
laying on my side watching screen, I could see shelves,
ceiling tile, etc as they were getting ready.
I guess the most horrific thing I have ever seen was the
inside of my butt on 27" monitor full screen before it
came out on the darkside.
That is a damn good camera on the end of that tube that
has windshield wipers. stainless steel snare, scissors,
vacuum tube, enough air pressure to rescue a truck with
18 flats.
laying on my side watching screen, I could see shelves,
ceiling tile, etc as they were getting ready.
I guess the most horrific thing I have ever seen was the
inside of my butt on 27" monitor full screen before it
came out on the darkside.
••
A surgeon goes to return some books borrowed
from the library.
The librarian quips, after checking the books, "Sir, your
books are always returned with the last page missing from
every book."
The surgeon replies, "I can't stop myself from removing an
appendix whenever I see one."
The librarian quips, after checking the books, "Sir, your
books are always returned with the last page missing from
every book."
The surgeon replies, "I can't stop myself from removing an
appendix whenever I see one."
••
Healthy snacking tip.....
The healthiest part of a donut is the hole.
Unfortunately you have to eat though the rest of the
donut to get there.
The healthiest part of a donut is the hole.
Unfortunately you have to eat though the rest of the
donut to get there.
••
