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♥
These days, the only time politicians are telling the truth
is when they call each other liars!
is when they call each other liars!
••
The Kentuckian and his gal were embracing passionately
in the front seat of the car.
"Want to go in the back seat?" she asked.
"Nope", he replied.
A few minutes later she asked, ??Now do you want to get in
the back seat??
"No, I don't", he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front
seat with you."
in the front seat of the car.
"Want to go in the back seat?" she asked.
"Nope", he replied.
A few minutes later she asked, ??Now do you want to get in
the back seat??
"No, I don't", he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front
seat with you."
••
A man looked at the menu at the airport restaurant, and
saw that the sandwiches were named for planes.
“I’ll have a ‘jumbo jet,’” he said.
When the order arrived, he was disappointed to see how
small his burger was, but he ate it anyway.
He called his waiter over.
“Was that the ‘jumbo jet?’” he asked.
“Yeah,” the waiter answered.
“Went pretty fast, didn’t it?”
saw that the sandwiches were named for planes.
“I’ll have a ‘jumbo jet,’” he said.
When the order arrived, he was disappointed to see how
small his burger was, but he ate it anyway.
He called his waiter over.
“Was that the ‘jumbo jet?’” he asked.
“Yeah,” the waiter answered.
“Went pretty fast, didn’t it?”
••
It is said that Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he never cries.
Too bad he never cries.
••
NEWSFLASH! Emergency services have removed 32 dead
Pakistanis from a house in Bradford.
It is not believed that there are any links to terrorist groups.
Early indications are that a bunk bed collapsed.
Pakistanis from a house in Bradford.
It is not believed that there are any links to terrorist groups.
Early indications are that a bunk bed collapsed.
••
The Porn industry breathed a sigh of relief this weekend..
As the women's volleyball came to a close.....
As the women's volleyball came to a close.....
••
I phoned the Health line today and said, "I'm having a
real problem getting an erection."
"Well we're here to help you as much as we can sir,"
the woman replied.
"Great!" I burst out......
"What colour panties are you wearing?"
real problem getting an erection."
"Well we're here to help you as much as we can sir,"
the woman replied.
"Great!" I burst out......
"What colour panties are you wearing?"
••
The Spice Girls have truly stood the test of time.
They're still crap.
They're still crap.
••
A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest,
in search of a fabled cannibalistic tribe.
He falls into a trap, goes unconscious and wakes up tied
to a stake with a fire burning slowly underneath him.
He cries out for help, and is answered by what is obviously
one of the tribesmen, who informs him that he is going to
be served as dinner to the leader of the tribe.
"But you don't understand!" he cries, "You can't do this
to me!
I'm an editor for the New Yorker magazine!"
"Ah," replies the tribesman, "Well soon you will be
editor-in-chief!"
in search of a fabled cannibalistic tribe.
He falls into a trap, goes unconscious and wakes up tied
to a stake with a fire burning slowly underneath him.
He cries out for help, and is answered by what is obviously
one of the tribesmen, who informs him that he is going to
be served as dinner to the leader of the tribe.
"But you don't understand!" he cries, "You can't do this
to me!
I'm an editor for the New Yorker magazine!"
"Ah," replies the tribesman, "Well soon you will be
editor-in-chief!"
