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American food manufacturers have found a way to
permanently end price increases, therefore helping to keep
inflation down.
They simply keep making the products smaller and smaller,
until one day you decide you need the new "super size",
which unfortunately is the size you used to buy before all
the reductions.
I guess the joke here is the Consumer Price Index.
permanently end price increases, therefore helping to keep
inflation down.
They simply keep making the products smaller and smaller,
until one day you decide you need the new "super size",
which unfortunately is the size you used to buy before all
the reductions.
I guess the joke here is the Consumer Price Index.
••
Steph was telling her boyfriend, Jeff "According to
archaeologists, for millions of years the Neanderthal
man was not fully erect."
And Jeff's reply was, "That's pretty easy to understand
considering how ugly the Neanderthal women were!"
archaeologists, for millions of years the Neanderthal
man was not fully erect."
And Jeff's reply was, "That's pretty easy to understand
considering how ugly the Neanderthal women were!"
••
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can
remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last
40 years.
The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the
exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation......
"'I now pronounce you man and wife'".
remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last
40 years.
The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the
exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation......
"'I now pronounce you man and wife'".
••
Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need
to wipe.
Because it helps them remember which end they need
to wipe.
••
We cant all be heroes... like, if there was a fire, and I
had three kids in there, I dont know which one I would
save.
You can't save them all; somebodys feelings are definitely
going to be hurt.
And what if you save the kid that started the fire?
Now you're living with an arsonist.
Thats nothing I want to be involved in.
had three kids in there, I dont know which one I would
save.
You can't save them all; somebodys feelings are definitely
going to be hurt.
And what if you save the kid that started the fire?
Now you're living with an arsonist.
Thats nothing I want to be involved in.
••
Every Saturday morning Grandpa Walt found himself
babysitting his three grandchildren...all boys.
The kids always wanted to play ''war,'' and Grandpa
somehow always got coaxed into the game.
His daughter came to pick up the kids early one Saturday
and witnessed Grandpa take a fake shot as Jason pointed
a toy gun and yelled, "Bang!''
Grandpa slumped to the floor and stayed there motionless.
The daughter rushed over to see if he was all right.
Grandpa opened one eye and whispered, ''Sh-h-h, I always
do this.
It's the only chance I get to rest.''
babysitting his three grandchildren...all boys.
The kids always wanted to play ''war,'' and Grandpa
somehow always got coaxed into the game.
His daughter came to pick up the kids early one Saturday
and witnessed Grandpa take a fake shot as Jason pointed
a toy gun and yelled, "Bang!''
Grandpa slumped to the floor and stayed there motionless.
The daughter rushed over to see if he was all right.
Grandpa opened one eye and whispered, ''Sh-h-h, I always
do this.
It's the only chance I get to rest.''
••
Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
••
A big game hunter goes on safari with his wife and his
mother-in-law.
One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone.
Immediately, she awakens up her husband and they both
set off to find the old woman.
Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there's the
mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocious lion!
"Quick, darling," the wife shouts frantically,
"Do something!"
"Oh, no," the husband says, "That lion got himself into this
mess........ Let him get himself out!"
A big game hunter goes on safari with his wife and his
mother-in-law.
One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone.
Immediately, she awakens up her husband and they both
set off to find the old woman.
Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there's the
mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocious lion!
"Quick, darling," the wife shouts frantically,
"Do something!"
"Oh, no," the husband says, "That lion got himself into this
mess........ Let him get himself out!"
