Had a great weekend, did you??
••
••••••
•••
♥
A Christian farmer spent the day in the city.
In a restaurant for his noon meal, he sat near a group
of young men.
After he bowed his head to give thanks for his food,
one of the young men thought he would embarrass the
old gentleman.
"Hey, farmer, does everyone do that out where you live?"
The old man calmly replied, "No, son, the pigs don't!"
In a restaurant for his noon meal, he sat near a group
of young men.
After he bowed his head to give thanks for his food,
one of the young men thought he would embarrass the
old gentleman.
"Hey, farmer, does everyone do that out where you live?"
The old man calmly replied, "No, son, the pigs don't!"
••
Dara, now in her middle ages, had been considering
coloring her hair.
One day, while flipping through a fashion magazine,
she saw an ad for a hair-coloring die featuring a pretty
young model who was sporting a great hairstyle with a
shade that Dara liked.
To get a second opinion, she asked her husband Jack,
"How do you think this shade would look on a face with
a few wrinkles?"
Jack took the magazine from her, crumpled the page
with the ad, straightened it out and observed it again.
"Just great, darling."
coloring her hair.
One day, while flipping through a fashion magazine,
she saw an ad for a hair-coloring die featuring a pretty
young model who was sporting a great hairstyle with a
shade that Dara liked.
To get a second opinion, she asked her husband Jack,
"How do you think this shade would look on a face with
a few wrinkles?"
Jack took the magazine from her, crumpled the page
with the ad, straightened it out and observed it again.
"Just great, darling."
••
Last night I came home from the pub later than usual
having had one too many.
Sure enough my wife was standing in the hallway
waiting for me looking extremely pissed off.
"What the hell do you mean coming home half drunk
like this!", she yelled.
"It's not my fault", I stammerd, "I ran out of money..."
having had one too many.
Sure enough my wife was standing in the hallway
waiting for me looking extremely pissed off.
"What the hell do you mean coming home half drunk
like this!", she yelled.
"It's not my fault", I stammerd, "I ran out of money..."
••
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.
Any place without a drive-up window.
••
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
Her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
Her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
••
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.
You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
••
WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control
for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, and I figured this was the most
evil thing I could do to him legally.....
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control
for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, and I figured this was the most
evil thing I could do to him legally.....
••
Moths fly towards lights because they confuse them with
the moon.
But why do they want to fly to the moon anyway?
Idiots.
the moon.
But why do they want to fly to the moon anyway?
Idiots.
