Sunday, August 12, 2012

Good Morning.....
♣♣







••••••
•••

John Holdren, Obama's Science Czar was at lunch with
the President when the conversation came up about:
What is man's greatest invention?
 So John said: Mr. President what do you think was man's
greatest invention?
Obama: Oh, it would have to be the Thermos.
John: The Thermos?........ Why the Thermos?
Obama: It keeps coffee hot and Ice tea cold.
John: So?
Obama: How do it know?

••
"Dinner, wine, music, dancing, flowers...
he tried all the moves to get me between the sheets,"
Bobsie confessed to her best friend.
"Well, what happened?" asked Carol.
Bobsie sighed and said, "All of them worked!"

••
What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth?
Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge
hammer and a common laboratory frog,
we can assume it will be pretty bad.

••
The ultimate irony....
The first real flying saucer is from Earth, and it landed
on Mars.

••
In the back of the Guinness Book of World Records it
states "All records are currently held by Chuck Norris,
and the records listed in this book are only the records
of those people who have come closest to Chuck Norris'
records."

••
safety first....
Pass this safety information on to all your buddies....
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore...
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by
the woman's husband!

••
It's been two days since Curiosity landed on Mars,
Cats of the world have rejoiced and can sleep with both
eyes closed, safely knowing the notorious serial killer can't
touch them for a while..

••
Hand: A singular instrument worn at the end of the
human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's
pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

••
sa "Curiosity" has found no signs of football, beer or porn,
destroying the theory that men are from Mars.

••
Turning the other cheek only ensures two bruised cheeks.

••••