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I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law
Last night when I asked if I could borrow
A newspaper.
'This is the 21st century, old man,' he said.
'We don't waste money on newspapers.
Here, you can borrow my iPod.'
I can tell you, that friggin' fly never knew
What hit it...........
Last night when I asked if I could borrow
A newspaper.
'This is the 21st century, old man,' he said.
'We don't waste money on newspapers.
Here, you can borrow my iPod.'
I can tell you, that friggin' fly never knew
What hit it...........
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love this word!
Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc’-ra-cy) - a system of government
where the least capable to lead are elected by the least
capable of producing, and where the members of society
least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded
with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth
of a diminishing number of producers.
Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc’-ra-cy) - a system of government
where the least capable to lead are elected by the least
capable of producing, and where the members of society
least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded
with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth
of a diminishing number of producers.
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After seeing the physique of the men during the
swimming relay, I was inspired to do something.
So I sat down, ate ice cream, and cried at my inadequacy.
swimming relay, I was inspired to do something.
So I sat down, ate ice cream, and cried at my inadequacy.
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President Obama was going to a Home Depot.
He was surrounded by his bodyguards, and everyone
immediately took notice of the unusual sight.
They looked closer and they saw who it was.
Everyone was in awe.
"Why would Obama be in a Home Depot?" they all asked
each other.
"He should have his workers do it for him".
Finally, one man asked the President, "What are you doing
in this little store of ours?"
To which Obama replied, "Oh, everyone has been saying
that I should get a new cabinet".
He was surrounded by his bodyguards, and everyone
immediately took notice of the unusual sight.
They looked closer and they saw who it was.
Everyone was in awe.
"Why would Obama be in a Home Depot?" they all asked
each other.
"He should have his workers do it for him".
Finally, one man asked the President, "What are you doing
in this little store of ours?"
To which Obama replied, "Oh, everyone has been saying
that I should get a new cabinet".
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How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change
a light bulb?
Four.
One to ask "What is the registration number of the light
bulb?", one to ask "Have you tried rebooting it?", another
to ask "Have you tried reinstalling it?"
And the last one to say "It must be your hardware because
the light bulb in our office works fine..."
a light bulb?
Four.
One to ask "What is the registration number of the light
bulb?", one to ask "Have you tried rebooting it?", another
to ask "Have you tried reinstalling it?"
And the last one to say "It must be your hardware because
the light bulb in our office works fine..."
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There was this man in a mental hospital.
All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen.
The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day.
So the doctor finally decided to see what the guy was
listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened.
He heard nothing.
So he turned to the mental patient and said,
"I don't hear anything."
The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know.
It's been like that for months!"
All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen.
The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day.
So the doctor finally decided to see what the guy was
listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened.
He heard nothing.
So he turned to the mental patient and said,
"I don't hear anything."
The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know.
It's been like that for months!"
••
In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded,
Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced
plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for
sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in
Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank is soldiering on, following sharp cutbacks,
Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain
in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and
analysts report that there is something fishy going on at
Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced
plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for
sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in
Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank is soldiering on, following sharp cutbacks,
Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain
in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and
analysts report that there is something fishy going on at
Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
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Quotes....
Having one child makes you a parent;
having two you are a referee. - David Frost
Having one child makes you a parent;
having two you are a referee. - David Frost
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Murphy's Laws of Computing.....
When computing, whatever happens, behave as though
you meant it to happen.
When you get to the point where you really understand
your computer, it's probably obsolete.
The first place to look for information is in the section
of the manual where you least expect to find it.
When the going gets tough, upgrade.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite
malfunction.
He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
A complex system that does not work is invariably found
to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
The number one cause of computer problems is computer
solutions.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do,
but rarely what you want to do.
When computing, whatever happens, behave as though
you meant it to happen.
When you get to the point where you really understand
your computer, it's probably obsolete.
The first place to look for information is in the section
of the manual where you least expect to find it.
When the going gets tough, upgrade.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite
malfunction.
He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
A complex system that does not work is invariably found
to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
The number one cause of computer problems is computer
solutions.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do,
but rarely what you want to do.
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