Have a great day....
••
••••••
•••
♥
As he was walking out the door she yelled, "And ..
I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
He turned around and replied; "So now you want me to
stay?"
I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
He turned around and replied; "So now you want me to
stay?"
••
Hungarian Olympic fans have been banned from shouting
'Go Hungary'...... Near any Ethiopian athletes.
'Go Hungary'...... Near any Ethiopian athletes.
••
The Three Scariest Words A Man Can Hear From A Woman.......
"Notice anything different?"
(Jezz I broke out in a cold sweat when I read that. )
"Notice anything different?"
(Jezz I broke out in a cold sweat when I read that. )
••
Here's how you know that you're really drunk:
when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
••
My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese,
we would still be in Paradise.
Why?
Because they would have eaten the snake instead of
the apple!
we would still be in Paradise.
Why?
Because they would have eaten the snake instead of
the apple!
••
A muslim was shot in London tonight with a starting pistol.
Police believe it might be race related!!
••
A young man was visiting his brother and sister-in-law for
the holidays.
As he arrived at their house he found his young nephew,
Timmy, helping them bake some cupcakes.
After they were done, his sister-in-law allowed Timmy to
put the icing on.
When the boy had finished, he brought them to the table.
"The cupcakes look delicious, Tim" his uncle said.
He took a bite and said, "Timmy these are so good."
As he finished cupcake and took another, he again
complimented his little nephew.
"The cupcakes look beautiful, Tim," his uncle said.
"How did you get the icing so neat?"
His nephew replied, "It was easy. I just licked them."
The uncle turned pale.
He pointed to the plate of cupcakes.
"You licked all of these?"
Timmie replied, "Well no.
After a while my tongue got tired, and I got the dog to help."
A young man was visiting his brother and sister-in-law for
the holidays.
As he arrived at their house he found his young nephew,
Timmy, helping them bake some cupcakes.
After they were done, his sister-in-law allowed Timmy to
put the icing on.
When the boy had finished, he brought them to the table.
"The cupcakes look delicious, Tim" his uncle said.
He took a bite and said, "Timmy these are so good."
As he finished cupcake and took another, he again
complimented his little nephew.
"The cupcakes look beautiful, Tim," his uncle said.
"How did you get the icing so neat?"
His nephew replied, "It was easy. I just licked them."
The uncle turned pale.
He pointed to the plate of cupcakes.
"You licked all of these?"
Timmie replied, "Well no.
After a while my tongue got tired, and I got the dog to help."
••
As a newly minted Air Force colonel, I was asked to
speak at a squadron commander's meeting.
When I arrived, the commander snapped to attention,
as did everyone else in the room, including me.
After a few uncomfortable seconds, the first sergeant
gently nudged me. "Sir," he said, "the standing at attention
is for you."
speak at a squadron commander's meeting.
When I arrived, the commander snapped to attention,
as did everyone else in the room, including me.
After a few uncomfortable seconds, the first sergeant
gently nudged me. "Sir," he said, "the standing at attention
is for you."
••
I shot a man in Reno...but didn't stick around "just to
watch him die."
Hell, that's how Johnny Cash got caught.
watch him die."
Hell, that's how Johnny Cash got caught.
••
The factory bell
Joe was an American manufacturer of machine parts.
He had a prospective customer from Albania visiting him
for imports of machinery to his country and Joe was
showing him around his factory.
At noon, the lunch bell rang, and eight hundred workers
immediately stopped work and left the building.
"Your workers are escaping!" cried the Albanian visitor.
"You must stop them."
"They will come back, nothing to worry," said Joe.
And indeed, after an hour, the bell rang again, and all the
workers returned from their break.
After the orientation, Joe turns to his guest and says,
"Would you like to place an order for any of these
machines?"
"Forget the machines," says the guest.
"How much do you want for that bell?"
Joe was an American manufacturer of machine parts.
He had a prospective customer from Albania visiting him
for imports of machinery to his country and Joe was
showing him around his factory.
At noon, the lunch bell rang, and eight hundred workers
immediately stopped work and left the building.
"Your workers are escaping!" cried the Albanian visitor.
"You must stop them."
"They will come back, nothing to worry," said Joe.
And indeed, after an hour, the bell rang again, and all the
workers returned from their break.
After the orientation, Joe turns to his guest and says,
"Would you like to place an order for any of these
machines?"
"Forget the machines," says the guest.
"How much do you want for that bell?"
