90º today humidity is 89%....
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I'm not one to brag, but I could have been in this years
Olympics.
If they had an event where you fall over things without
spilling your beer......
Olympics.
If they had an event where you fall over things without
spilling your beer......
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Useless Knowledge;
Deep Hunger:
Deep Hunger:
It might point to an unusual eating disorder
called tomatophagia.
People with tomatophagia develop unusual cravings for
such things as tomatoes, ice, detergent, starch, clay,
and even dirt.
called tomatophagia.
People with tomatophagia develop unusual cravings for
such things as tomatoes, ice, detergent, starch, clay,
and even dirt.
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Most people put their pants on one leg at a time,
Chuck Norris does both legs at once.
Chuck Norris does both legs at once.
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Two accountants were discussing a colleague's interest
in one of the firm's new secretaries.
"I just don't get it." said one.
"She's an airhead -- nothing going on upstairs.
"That may be true," replied the other, "but I don't think
that's the floor he's getting off on."
in one of the firm's new secretaries.
"I just don't get it." said one.
"She's an airhead -- nothing going on upstairs.
"That may be true," replied the other, "but I don't think
that's the floor he's getting off on."
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You can't..
sneeze with your eyes open.....
kiss your elbow.....
put your arm down you look stupid.....
sneeze with your eyes open.....
kiss your elbow.....
put your arm down you look stupid.....
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She left a note on the fridge:
"It's not working, I can't take it anymore!
Gone to stay at my Mother's."
So, I opened the fridge, the light came on and the
beer was cold.
I have no idea what in the hell she was
"It's not working, I can't take it anymore!
Gone to stay at my Mother's."
So, I opened the fridge, the light came on and the
beer was cold.
I have no idea what in the hell she was
talking about............
the fridge works fine.
Women, who can understand them?
the fridge works fine.
Women, who can understand them?
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On the doctor's advice, I gave my six-year-old son a
teaspoonful of Milk of Magnesia (Magnesium hydroxide)
which serves as a laxative.
He found the taste terrible and making a face, said to me,
"Dad, I am never going to have this milk from Malaysia
ever again!"
teaspoonful of Milk of Magnesia (Magnesium hydroxide)
which serves as a laxative.
He found the taste terrible and making a face, said to me,
"Dad, I am never going to have this milk from Malaysia
ever again!"
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ASKHOLE: A person who constantly asks for you advice,
yet always does the opposite of what you tell them.
yet always does the opposite of what you tell them.
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The first ready-to-eat breakfast cereal was Shredded Wheat
in 1893.
It beat Kellogg's Corn Flakes by five years.
The first ready-to-eat breakfast cereal was Shredded Wheat
in 1893.
It beat Kellogg's Corn Flakes by five years.
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After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly
announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to
be a minister when I grow up.
"That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you
decide to be a minister?"
"Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday
anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and
yell than to sit still and listen.
announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to
be a minister when I grow up.
"That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you
decide to be a minister?"
"Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday
anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and
yell than to sit still and listen.
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