Makin Biscuits ??
Gotta be tough.....
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♥
I'm a walking storeroom of facts,
I've just lost the key to the storeroom.
I've just lost the key to the storeroom.
••
A man and wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking
around here and you should do it, because that is your job,
and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the
Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, " I can't believe that...... Show me."
So she fetched the Bible, opened the New Testament and
showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.............
"HEBREWS"
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking
around here and you should do it, because that is your job,
and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the
Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, " I can't believe that...... Show me."
So she fetched the Bible, opened the New Testament and
showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.............
"HEBREWS"
••
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.
Except that one where you're naked in church.
•
When the doctor said I suffer from alcoholism,
I thought that's bullcrap.
I really enjoy it.
When the doctor said I suffer from alcoholism,
I thought that's bullcrap.
I really enjoy it.
••
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her
husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're A, B, C, D,
E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asks, "What does that mean?"
He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant,
Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.
She smiled happily and said, "Oh, that's so lovely.
What about I, J, K?"
He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"
The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor
is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.
husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're A, B, C, D,
E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asks, "What does that mean?"
He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant,
Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.
She smiled happily and said, "Oh, that's so lovely.
What about I, J, K?"
He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"
The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor
is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.
••
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out.
When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled
words on them.
When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled
words on them.
••
WHATEVER HITS THE FAN WILL
NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY.
NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY.
••
Brian Moore was driving his truck when he approached a
bridge with a sign saying 12 foot max.... headroom.
He slowed down wondering if he could drive under it or
not.
"I'll sure give it a try," he thought only to discover that his
truck got stuck underneath it.
Brian got back in his seat, poured out a cup of coffee and
lit a cigarette.
A cop arrived a short time later and knocked on the cab
door which Brian immediately opened.
"What do you think you are doing?" demanded the cop in
a sharp tone.
"Sure I'm having a tea break," replied Brian
"And what work do you do?" inquired the cop.
"I deliver bridges," replied Brian....
bridge with a sign saying 12 foot max.... headroom.
He slowed down wondering if he could drive under it or
not.
"I'll sure give it a try," he thought only to discover that his
truck got stuck underneath it.
Brian got back in his seat, poured out a cup of coffee and
lit a cigarette.
A cop arrived a short time later and knocked on the cab
door which Brian immediately opened.
"What do you think you are doing?" demanded the cop in
a sharp tone.
"Sure I'm having a tea break," replied Brian
"And what work do you do?" inquired the cop.
"I deliver bridges," replied Brian....
••
I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend.
It's called, "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away
'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring."
It's called, "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away
'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring."
••
