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Didja' hear about the blonde who almost drowned in her
childs kiddy pool?
Someone put a "scratch and sniff" on the bottom of the
pool--so she did!!!
childs kiddy pool?
Someone put a "scratch and sniff" on the bottom of the
pool--so she did!!!
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I often quote myself.
I find it adds spice to the conversation.
I find it adds spice to the conversation.
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Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant
one morning.
Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she
said, '"Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your
left ear?"
Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?"
She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing.
Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."
one morning.
Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she
said, '"Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your
left ear?"
Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?"
She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing.
Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."
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Haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months,
I don't like to interrupt her.
I don't like to interrupt her.
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You can't,
1- You can't count your hair.
2- You can't wash your eyes with soap.
3- You can't breathe when your tongue is out.
Put your tongue back in fool.
1- You can't count your hair.
2- You can't wash your eyes with soap.
3- You can't breathe when your tongue is out.
Put your tongue back in fool.
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I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
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The resurrection.....
At the Easter morning services the pastor of the Baptist
church had called all of the little children to the front of
the church.
Dressed in their cute Easter outfits and had them sit
around him.
He said "Today is Easter and you all look so handsome
and beautiful.
Today we're going to talk about the resurrection.
Does anyone know what the resurrection is?"
One little boy raised his hand, and the pastor said
"Please tell us what the resurrection is".
The boy, proud that he knew the answer, said in a clear
loud voice.....
"When you get one lasting more than four hours,
you gotta call a doctor!"
It took a solid 10 minutes before the pastor could speak
and there was so much laughter going on that his sermon
was probably forgotten - but that boy's voice won't be.
At the Easter morning services the pastor of the Baptist
church had called all of the little children to the front of
the church.
Dressed in their cute Easter outfits and had them sit
around him.
He said "Today is Easter and you all look so handsome
and beautiful.
Today we're going to talk about the resurrection.
Does anyone know what the resurrection is?"
One little boy raised his hand, and the pastor said
"Please tell us what the resurrection is".
The boy, proud that he knew the answer, said in a clear
loud voice.....
"When you get one lasting more than four hours,
you gotta call a doctor!"
It took a solid 10 minutes before the pastor could speak
and there was so much laughter going on that his sermon
was probably forgotten - but that boy's voice won't be.
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Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
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