Another 105º day...with rain also...
It's not gonna get better until the weekend...
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A schoolteacher asked her primary six class to construct
sentences with the words: defeat, detail, defense.
There was a pause before a pupil raised his hand and said
he could make a sentence with them...
"The cow jumped over defense and detail went over defeat."
sentences with the words: defeat, detail, defense.
There was a pause before a pupil raised his hand and said
he could make a sentence with them...
"The cow jumped over defense and detail went over defeat."
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I wonder if Darwin ever thought that dolphins and
butterflies would further evolve into tramp stamps.
butterflies would further evolve into tramp stamps.
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The Lord's Prayer (Recited by Children)
A new Sunday school teacher had to iron out some
problems with the Lord's Prayer.
One child had to be corrected after repeating,
"Howard be thy name."
Another youngster prayed,"Lead us not into Penn Station."
Still another surprised the teacher with, "Our Father,
who art in heaven, how'd you know my name?"
A new Sunday school teacher had to iron out some
problems with the Lord's Prayer.
One child had to be corrected after repeating,
"Howard be thy name."
Another youngster prayed,"Lead us not into Penn Station."
Still another surprised the teacher with, "Our Father,
who art in heaven, how'd you know my name?"
••
My father once told me, "Son, if you want people to listen
to what you have to say, claim it's something your father
told you."
My father once told me, "Son, if you want people to listen
to what you have to say, claim it's something your father
told you."
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My sister-in-law and her five-year-old were driving one evening
when they noticed a stark-naked woman in the convertible next
to them.
My sister-in-law was shocked but not as much as her son.
"Look at her!" he yelled. "She isn't wearing a seat belt!"
when they noticed a stark-naked woman in the convertible next
to them.
My sister-in-law was shocked but not as much as her son.
"Look at her!" he yelled. "She isn't wearing a seat belt!"
••
The reason old men use Viagra is not because they're
impotent.
Its because old women are so very ugly.
impotent.
Its because old women are so very ugly.
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Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone.
Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone.
What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone?
The four dead birds didn't think so either.
Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone.
What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone?
The four dead birds didn't think so either.
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I think I've been watching too much porn on my computer.
I tried to log on last night and I got a message saying,
'Not tonight, I've got a headache.'
I tried to log on last night and I got a message saying,
'Not tonight, I've got a headache.'
