Having a good weekend??
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A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's
annual 4th of July picnic.
Old friends, they began their usual banter.
"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the
rabbi.
"You really ought to try it.
I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand
why such a wonderful food should be forbidden!
You don't know what you're missing.
You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized
Virginia Baked Ham.
Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try
it?"
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said,
"At your wedding."
annual 4th of July picnic.
Old friends, they began their usual banter.
"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the
rabbi.
"You really ought to try it.
I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand
why such a wonderful food should be forbidden!
You don't know what you're missing.
You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized
Virginia Baked Ham.
Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try
it?"
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said,
"At your wedding."
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Texas authorities, responding to a store robbery,
seized a man who was fleeing naked.
He said he'd stripped after the job because he figured
his clothes would make him identifiable.
seized a man who was fleeing naked.
He said he'd stripped after the job because he figured
his clothes would make him identifiable.
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I am tired of missing green lights at stop lights because
Teenage drivers are texting, and not paying attention.
This must stop.
Therefore I have formed a new organization called Fathers
Against Texting While Automobile Driving (FATWADS)
Our voice will be heard.
There is nothing more annoying than missing a green
light on your way back from the liquor store!!!
I am tired of missing green lights at stop lights because
Teenage drivers are texting, and not paying attention.
This must stop.
Therefore I have formed a new organization called Fathers
Against Texting While Automobile Driving (FATWADS)
Our voice will be heard.
There is nothing more annoying than missing a green
light on your way back from the liquor store!!!
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"A Japanese scientist has invented a spray-on Viagra.
And if you thought the cosmetic clerks at the mall were
annoying before when they spritzed you..."
And if you thought the cosmetic clerks at the mall were
annoying before when they spritzed you..."
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Two children were in a doctor's waiting room.
The little girl was softly sobbing.
"Why are you crying?" asked the little boy.
"I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my
finger," said the girl.
When he heard this, the little boy started to cry.
"Why are you crying?" asked the girl.
The boy looked at her worriedly and said, "I'm here for
a urine test."
Two children were in a doctor's waiting room.
The little girl was softly sobbing.
"Why are you crying?" asked the little boy.
"I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my
finger," said the girl.
When he heard this, the little boy started to cry.
"Why are you crying?" asked the girl.
The boy looked at her worriedly and said, "I'm here for
a urine test."
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My friend is a dyslexic, bullshitting fisherman.
He talks a load of carp.
He talks a load of carp.
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When a family moved into their new house, a visiting
relative asked the little five-year-old how he liked the new
place.
"It's terrific," he said. "I have my own room, my brother
has his own room, and my sister has her own room.
But poor mom is still sleeping with dad."
relative asked the little five-year-old how he liked the new
place.
"It's terrific," he said. "I have my own room, my brother
has his own room, and my sister has her own room.
But poor mom is still sleeping with dad."
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My father taught me to swim by taking me out in the
boat and throwing me in the lake.
The hard part was getting the duct tape off of my wrists
and ankles.
boat and throwing me in the lake.
The hard part was getting the duct tape off of my wrists
and ankles.
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I sold my house this week.
I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord
mad as hell.
I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord
mad as hell.
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